Lysander, 8 CHA Tengu Bard

you were allowed to objectify women in the 1950s because in the 1950s objects were often valuable and high quality

lololololol

the ai boomer accidentally catching his guitar on fire ad is SENDING me

socks but they moan when you put them on

misogynists be like “the purpose of a cisfem is who she does”

elon runs as a third party candidate in 2028, splits the red/grey tribe vote, AOC takes power and declares herself the Supreme Leader of the People's Democratic Republic of Turtle Island

lmaaaoooo

the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing people that centrism means not wanting anything to change

My linocut print of a huddled group of ring-tailed lemurs looking suspiciously at the viewer. They are grey with black and white striped tails, black face and brown eyes. In black letters above it reads “A conspiracy” and in black and white striped letters below it reads “Lemurs.”

This linocut shows a conspiracy of lemurs in all senses. 🧪🐡 The collective noun for a group of lemurs is a "conspiracy". Isn't that marvelous? These ring-tailed lemurs definitely appear to be up to something. Caught in the act of scheming. The word “lemurs” mimics their tails, of course! 🧵

call my dick covid the way it mysteriously gets long for people with weird genders

if someone tells you the lyrics to a jazz standard are dumb you can just say "actually it's an allegory about economics in the wake of the great depression" and probably get them to buy it

much like there's nothing an autistic guy hates like the guy who's 10% more autistic than him, there's nothing a guy struggling to find happiness hates than the guy who's 10% less happy

flirt like a virtue ethicist, not a utilitarian

im not fat ive just been bulking for 35 years

*guy in john searle's philosophy class, raising his hand* uh, mandarin or cantonese?

devastating: i shouted “play free bird!” at an open mic night and no one laughed

autist into handguns call that .38 special interest

the male version of a hoe phase is a rake phase

hate when the lyrics to a song are like “wake up in the morning” see you’ve already lost me. i can’t identify with that. you think im employed or something?

i like putting the word "ethical" in front of things to imply that their default mode is unethical. ethical macramé. ethical sleeping. ethical powerlifting.

finding a photo of every girl i've ever crushed on and making a tarot deck of them

i love that garfield hates mondays even tho he’s unemployed. hes really such an empath

real

hehehehehe

Accidentally walked into the cruising part of the park and was slightly startled but also happy people are still doing that

referring to the UK as "eurodivergent" from now on

(guy who doesn't know what a leppo is) yeah, haha, get fucked, ASSad! who's the leppo now, bitch!

my anxiety is cured thanks

LimeWire Wrapped 1. sistem_of_a_dowm_Zelda_song.flac 2. Nirvana - Glycerine.flv 3. track_8_(1)_(1)c.mp3 4. weird_al_Bert_and_Big_Bird_smoking_weed_FUNNY(parody).wav 5. jay-z_the-blueprint_FULL ALBUM_REAL.mp3.exe

finally finished downloading my limewire wrapped after 20 years