James Parsnips

What in the bad face swap is going on here??!!

With my pal Gary at the local greasy spoon for a fry-up. He's been telling me about #AI videos and how loads on here are fake. I get lots of messages from young ladies in bikinis that barely cover their boobs. Gary says they're all fake; the boobs and the ladies. Don't know what to believe anymore.

This is Brian. If anyone walks past, Brian will run away. If I walk past him, he doesn't seem bothered at all. Interestingly, possibly not coincidentally, the local foxes never shit near my bins. My neighbours get splattered. Brian's my boy. #foxes #brianiscool

Not going to lie, I was hoping it was going to be a tiny brass band playing "Super Freak".

Training days completed, I scored 122/125 on the aptitude test (I deliberately got one wrong so as not to intimidate the management) so as long as the trial shifts next week go okay, I'm good. On my way to the Toby Carvery for a Friday night feast and then perhaps a brass nail. #happyfriday

Yes, I believe I would.

Not that anyone's really that interested, but my training day yesterday went well. I mean, the job is very easy but for the delivery check system, which is absolute bollocks (and I'll let the boss know once I'm settled in). However, it's 40 hours a week of easy money and I can bring a book. Result.

So, not Paula...

Hi Kendra... Or Sarah... Or Annie...

Well, this is awkward...

Mermaid? Explain this!

???

Er...?

What's going on?

Something fishy going on here...

The face has changed here too!

The face has changed!

I've had a number of messages on here this week asking me what I am looking for, but they messaged me? When I ask them what they mean by "looking for" they call me stupid. In each instance I wasn't looking for anything at the time. I don't have a lot of stuff and it's all in my bungalow. Weird.

Last day of freedom before the new job starts. What to do? Feeling frisky.

I’m having flashbacks.
@nappydolemite.bsky.social

Well, if anyone ever steals my toilet I now know I just need to visit number 96's front garden. They even left water and protective gloves, inviting people to shit in their garden. These people are a blight on my community. They should be gathered up and sent to an #American concentration camp.

I completely agree, Hannah Brooks!

My new friend is the Lane Wolfe!

Young lady, please stop using someone else's photos as if they're your own. We talked about this.

You're all wrong, this was a great post.

I have over 200 followers now but I rarely get a single 'like' when I post. Am I boring, invisible or are none of my followers real? I used to get dozens of likes when I was on Twatter. All feedback welcome.

Oh, don't 'like' this post; it would seem like sarcasm or pity. Like an older post instead.

Hmm, this seems legit...

I'm not a big fan of god-botherers, especially the American evangelicals, and I think most of what they say is poisonous nonsense but even I'm wondering if the kid who owned this just got raptured. #rapture #therapture #fundies #god #kent

I GOT THE JOB! I have two days of training/induction on Thursday and Friday, then next week I will shadow the boss for 4 nights. If all goes well, and it will as I'm massively over-qualified for this job, I'm sorted. So happy I'll be working pretty much on my own again; people are dicks.