Scott Clevenger

Throw in The Two Towers from the Lord of the Rings. And also maybe imply a connection between the Ents and Entenmann's.

"Well, my given name is Bike, but my family calls me Penny. It's short for Pennyfarthing."

CORPSE YOU BLITHELY STEPPED OVER: (MUTTERING) It's all downtime here, mate.

When you've already turned down a hotdog, a Reuben, and a Cheesesteak, there's really only one choice left.

Hey, I get it. My favorite part of the video for Bonnie Tyler's iconic 1984 hit "Holding Out for a Hero" is the part where the Marie Callender's Turkey Pot Pie rides into town. Goosebumps! Every time!

Poor Allen West, born too soon. Think what a guy with his bona fides (i.e., both an aptitude and a penchant for war crimes) could have done do in Kristi Noem's DHS.

Looks like we're done for, Jake. My horse is gettin' winded and that Comanche raiding party is gainin' on us."
"Yep, it's the end o' the trail for us, old pal... Oh! An' I don't know if this is gonna help or make things worse, but it looks like the peyote just kicked in."

The Four-Dimensional Roller-Press was the 3-D printer of 1927, except instead of ghost guns it made live monkeys.

Who? I don't see anyone...

Hey look OVER THERE

Slumgullion 117 Michael Flatley's Blackbird (2018)

Former Lord of the Dance Michael Flatley becomes Bogart and invents the Head Slipper in this rubbery retreat of CASABLANCA as Eric Roberts rounds out the cast. Please join us and British podcaster Dave Probert as we face the music and dance with...BLACKBIRD
open.spotify.com/episode/1jGs...

HIM: Okay...Breathe! Now bear down and PUSH! Good! I can see the head…One more big push, Bev...your tramp is crowning...

In the early days their shows often lasted four to five hours, because it took so long to doff the sweaty neoprene costumes. But eventually the Chippendale dancers abandoned their Ultraman theme and just went with the bowties and banana hammocks.

But just while using one of those big trough urinals at the ball park, where it's considered a polite greeting.

Episode 109: Writer-Producer Aaron J. Waltke (Star Trek Prodigy) Jeff and Scott welcome writer-producer Aaron J. Waltke to talk about Star Trek Prodigy -- past, present, and future. The Slumgullion Podca...

All the Good Aarons get a song:

slumgullionpodcast.blogspot.com/2024/08/epis...

Episode 112: The Seán Ferrick Interview We're back, and we've been hastily putting out the good hand towels and the decorative soaps, because we've got company! Please join us in w...

The weirdest.

slumgullionpodcast.blogspot.com/2024/12/epis...

HIM: Happy Valentine's Day!
HER: Aw! It's, uh--?
HIM: A heart-shaped noose! Ah love ya, Miss Ellie, but Ah'm still gonna have ta string ya up. Ah cain't let ya continue yer reign o' terror.
HER: What're you talking about--
HIM: Yer "Tumbling C" corkscrewed mah P, and now I got a dick like a duck.

Don't waste your money. It's like a bridesmaid dress--you can only wear it once.

But they gotta take off. And land.

Oh I'm too old to jaunt. These days the best I can do is sit on my front porch and taunt.

Words are born, die, and definitions evolve, that's simply how language works. Just as "gay" now means "homosexual" rather than "carefree", the word "Boba" now means "tapioca" rather than "ruthless Mandalorian bounty hunter", so from now on I'm just gonna call him "Bob Fett".

"Now when making Damsel Feet Soup, I always like to start with my bouillon cubes, ground crayfish, and smoked paprika and then let those simmer for awhile. Then I add Arrowroot powder to thicken, and season to taste with cayenne, thyme, and salt, and ..."

So we've got what, now? Schrödinger's Khamenei?

New Breed (2001) Meet a vampire with all the sex appeal of Mormon funeral potatoes.

And for those looking for a little context--wondering how bad Paul's pic is if it's worse than New Breed--you first have to understand how bad New Breed is. Here's the short version:
open.substack.com/pub/clevenge...

Wow. Logan Paul's AI film is...almost hysterically bad.

Almost.

I enjoyed New Breed more.

Oh no, you're not gonna tempt me to watch it THAT easily.

Pah!

New Breed INDEED...!

I know. What a bunch'a wallflowers we turned out to be.

This seems like the kind of title that should be punctuated with, “...dumbass.”

Additionally, there were some minor changes to the servers' uniforms as part of the Waffle House rebranding effort.

Aw, shit. I saw his name trending, thought, "what the hell? WHY?" and now I feel kinda bad.