rim job team captain

anxiety disorder so bad it makes u a little bit evil

day drunk at the seafood restaurant

Hey everyone -- Moms of Liberty and Dept of Education launched a snitch line portal today to rat out teachers and anyone promoting anything DEI.

FLOOD THE PORTAL

Spam the hell out of it.

Pass it on! It works!

enddei.ed.gov

t-mobile just tried to take my wife as collateral for a new phone????

sir i beg of u one french onion soup....please a french onion soup,,, sanji i beg of u a french onion soup please

black leg sanji save me....save me black leg sanji...

meatloaf (the singer not the food) is so funny to me bc he was a theater kid who wrote the most flamboyant little rock operas his whole career but he was also. a homophobe and a trump supporter? another case of if he was born a shady old queen i think he wouldve been much happier lmao

can we do this super bowl drag race style and double eliminate both teams for lack of charisma uniqueness nerve and talent

Yea

she just naturally looks like a beautiful little elf. the make up emphasizes her thumbalina-ness

not to sound like a 2014 "eye liner sharp enough to kill a man" choice feminist but genuinely if u think the way sabrina carpenter does her make up completely alters her appearance. you are stupid. the neurons in ur brain lack the ability to fire

they want to erase us completely. do not let them, we will outlive these fascists. create art, take pictures of yourself or your trans friends, make something lasting. we will outlast them forever

i just finished grocery shopping and was sitting in my car about to bite in to a period craving donut i bought myself when my mom sent me this text

y'all ever write a really scathing letter to ur senator while shitting your brains out

the real pain is knowing....ive let Him down 😔

sighs bc i love hand tattoos but i would probably never get one bc 1) personally i just made a no job-stoppers rule for myself 2) i have trust issues and it does not matter how long ive worked with and known an artist, it would make me nervous

this 24 hour cycle of tiktok ban to glaze trump in front of the youngest and most easily swayed voting demographic makes me want to stare down the barrel of a shot gun. which, admittedly, is much easier now that he's in office again huh

yogi 360 no scoped my partner's ring last night at around 9:15pm. he just came home this afternoon at 1pm. one endoscopy later he's doing great. but jesus christ. i am so tired

am i the only one who came out of nosferatu hating friedrich's bitch ass

today my dad wouldve been 60. And today my mom informed me that last night she dreamt my dad faked his death so he could leave her to become a gay sex worker. So, Happy birthday dad.

a beautiful thing about having a dead dad around christmas is i dont have to do the last minute fuck shit fuck what the fuck do i buy this man song and dance every year

i said i wasnt gonna unpack it and then i unpacked it....anyway what did y'all have for dinner. I had chicken teriyaki i made it in the slow cooker

i dont think unedited three am ramblings about whatever undergrads are talking about on tumblr should become the next award winning novel. However i think earnest art expressed in the public sector is something worth cherishing. Even if it sucks, honestly maybe even especially if it sucks

how do i put this? all art needs to bad at some point. tweens, teens, and 20somethings with a serotonin deficiency need to subject us to their flowery, redundant prose online. it simply is the fact of the matter. poorly written, earnest prose should be protected- silly as it sounds

i fear the discussion on 'tumblr prose' is repackaged school yard "reading is LAME and BORING" anti intellectualism but i dont have the energy to un pack it. just know that im right bc im very smart and im never wrong

Most exhausting thing in the world is when someone posts "What I eat in a day as a fat person who really isnt interested in weight loss" and all the comments are inevitably filled with ppl playing doctor being like i am actually going to predict the date of your death now fatty

lovely diner time with my family interrupted by my mom announcing next year shes going to ireland to see the jets...and perhaps scatter my dads ashes while she's at it. yknow, if she has time

current running theory is that they're coworkers and this is their first official hangout outside of work

sitting next to a group of people at a cafe and desperately trying to determine if theyre all meeting for the first time or if they've been friends for years