ˏˋ°𖦹˚܀𓆟ᯓ

Me when I'm starting to let go bc I'm so tired of holding on to people who genuinely don't give that much of a fuck about me. :/

Theyre just... Way too cool for me.

Also.. I did in fact distance myself greatly. Scared of having a platonic fp again ✋

Tonight I was given my late aunts pillow spray. It's the last thing that I have of her, other than her obituary and corsage that she made me.

++I just don't understand why she would let it happen, when she knows what it feels like. She recognizes that feeling like it was yesterday. A feeling we both understand all too well and probably will until we die.

I hate that I understand her and she understands that affected piece of me.

++.. I used to blame her for all of it. I don't understand why my dad and his friends got away with it, why my cousin got away with it, why my moms bf got away with it or when my mom got away with it.
She tried to pray it away, but nobody saved me, nobody saved her, nobody saved her mom. ++

++ but the kicker in all of this, is each time, my great grandma knew that was happening to my grandmother, she was just too scared to do something about it, especially in the 1960s..and my grandmother knew it was happening to me, but she was scared I'd fall into the system, so she did nothing++

+++ TW / SA&CSA
We were talking about both of our experiences with being SA'd and about what has helped her move forward. And her feelings of filth and guilt, it felt disgustingly familiar to how I felt as a kid. Like it's just this sick curse, because my great grandma went through that as well..++

Tw SA vent//
I have a complicated relationship with my grandparents, but mostly my grandmother.. It's like every time she talks about trauma, I see a version of her unseen by many. Its like I'm seeing her from the past. Like herself as if she were my age again. +++

Made it to Graham only to be manipulated by my bio mom :) and I'm bored and I miss my partner and there's no food sdjdjjd... But I'm scared that this is the last time Ill see my dad.

😭 new fp.. Do I distance myself greatly or just dive right in. LMAOOO

Derpy 🌻💙

#kpopdemonhunters #tiger #Derpy #crochet

Found myself thinking about 🦇 .. I honestly hope he's doing good. :) tbh I hope that man is dropping art like crazy. Always loved his art style. Still have a shared notebook that I flip through occasionally haha.

Today has been fucking terrible, just found out my second gender is an Omega so.. My life is on fire SHDJDJDK

📓- In relation to my last thread It has never been easy for me to give up on someone though and throw the connection away completely.
Especially if I've ever felt close to them, I always end up waiting there for whenever they return.. Like a dog.

HAHAHAHA NOOOO ONE OF MY FRIENDS STARTED FOLLOWING MY NSFW AND I DON'T THINK THEY KNOW IT'S ME BC I USE A DIFFERENT NAME AGDJCHDJFKFKKG

Lol I didn't spam today.
But I did finally plan when to go back to my hometown and say my goodbyes :) 🤍
I'm excited to see my dad and a few family members.
Probably gonna go to the park and take one last stroll around until I visit again someday.

++ I also plan on beading soon!!
Ever since I started lessons with my aunties and other reconnecting friends, I've felt a lot more confident about it.

I think I might spam a little today just because I'm anxious 🖤 :'))
Life updates:
-Moose had passed away.
-we're moving up north this September.
-I'll be getting top surgery next year
-I'll be going to say good bye to everyone in my home town in August.
-I did art fight this year kinda... Lol
++

Finding out more about Inuit and Cherokee culture through my family is crazy.
I've been learning Inuktitut and honestly it's so much easier than english.

If I get one more eye shape paired with ethnicity question... I might lose it.
I'm not Asian OR SIBERIAN, you FUCKWIT. BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALLLLLLLLL
I'M NATIVE AND I DON'T KNOW YOU UGHHH !! chewing my fingers off

I wish I could show him off to my friends and family but he is incredibly protective ✊😔 and very anxious.

German Shepherd , front facing and panting/smiling.

Side profile of German Shepard panting/smiling

Lil hype post for Sweet moosey :)) 💫♡ our old mahn. He was really energetic today and I didn't get photos so here's some from a bit ago.

Having to go to my admissions office today bc my schedule for spring is shitting itself :')

You toooo!! 💫

Neil banging out the tunes ~

Now I gotta redo my whole setup TvT ~