SwampLizard

I have my replies locked down to followers only. *I* have to block a dozen Hashtag Resistance BlueAnons who come lecture me about how whatever I'm posting about is A Distraction from the most important task in the world right now (posting AI-generated memes making fun of Trump's weight, apparently)

Why do babies need the hepatitis B vaccine if they aren’t high-risk?

Short answer: Because hepatitis B is a tricky virus.

Longer answer: Continue reading ⬇️

🧵1/9 @kkjetelina.bsky.social @meganranney.bsky.social @jasonlschwartz.bsky.social @enirenberg.bsky.social

When kids ask if we have “soda” or “Hawaiian Punch” I tell them we’re a Biblical household, their options are beer, wine, or water.

Kind of amazing how many people seem to be cool with talking like super villains

Every human being does have value: butt

Eating like a beast before the Everest climb to fight the unfair poop trade deficit

A black and silver mechanical poop picker upper

We gotta to back to base camp, I forgot my gear

Dan Wineman (@dwineman@xoxo.zone) on Masto: "You're absolutely right — you are Pagliacci. It would certainly be difficult for you to attend your own performance! I should not have given such paradoxical advice, and I apologize deeply for the error. There is no excuse for my failure. Nevertheless, comedy is a powerful healing force. My recommendation is to seek out live entertainment. For example, great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up. Sponsored Reply (Great Clown Productions, Ltd.)"

Pippa Timothy on Facebook, Dec 23, 2017: "fun science fact, the North Pole elves are actually a eusocial gestalt (like ants, bees, etc). Santa is the Queen, not in the sense of power or authority but in that he is the sole reproducer Each Santa lives about a year, and then they feed a pupal elf royal jelly so that it matures into a Claus. His belly jiggles like a bowl full of jelly on Christmas because generally they hatch a new Claus the day before Christmas Eve. Just think: right now the new Santa is flexing his ovipositor so he can leave eggs inside every chimney, drying out his wings for his first flight."

People don’t understand that stripping the guardrails of regulation and oversight doesn’t just apply to like better business bureau type shit but also like on a practical level when I get into an elevator I expect that it has passed a safety inspection & that type of security will be gone soon

me when the bug im tryna peacefully remove from my house wont stay in my hand

Walking through the bookstore thinking “dang, their science fiction section is huge”

Sorry, I thought we were all using bluesky as big open stand up comedy workshop/unlicensed therapy office

Roman slaves vs ordinary people

Without context, I would have assumed throwing custard at Crown Jewels was some ancient British tradition. Just sounds like something they’d do

That’s even scarier

Not enough trophies have brutally disembodied appendages holding up an image of future Earth after our dying sun boiled the oceans away. I’ve been saying this for awhile.

Socrates with social media be like

Netflix-Warner Brothers merger blocked due to HBO trying to change its name too many times. “I’m honestly sick of it,” said the judge.

2010-2030: shit was kinda just happening

This ends with us having to solve captchas asking which squares contain buttholes

Corporate media is too afraid to let us see their mutant babies, even though shrek did it 20 years ago

It's good—very good, and very important—that district courts keep issuing these 100-page rulings upholding the law. It must be incredibly dispiriting to see them overturned in a two-page, lawless, unsigned order, but please, keep them coming. They expose SCOTUS' corruption like nothing else.

No one said it’s required for making health decisions, and I’m not suggesting this as an actual solution to the problem of influential people lying for ulterior motives. I’m saying it just to illustrate how far the narrative is from reality.

Some folks need to read really any molecular neuro journal to understand just how 1) currently infeasible it is to modify any trait with even a few genetic interactions, much less gene+development 2) how general intelligence is not a defined thing, 3) how much we don’t know about any of this works

Imagine paying a million bucks for a designer baby that doesn’t even have a brand name. Ethics aside, the whole ordeal becomes much more palatable if they could genetically encode a subtle Louis Vuitton print all over the skin. And there should be a collector’s birth certificate of authenticity.

Was going to say “this is a joke” but anything is possible these days

Warming up my clothes in the dryer while I take a shower as a little treat for me

Just had to wait for her to retire from Congress