Nasty rat

Need to quit vaping so I can start playing the saxophone in empty parking garages at night

The only useful thing Taylor Swift ever did for me was induce vomiting

Did everyone else know that the unipiper is hot or was I just supposed to find out from his interview at the ice protests?

The first sip of a coconut berry red bull in the morning CAN be a spiritual experience if you let it

My plan the quit vaping (EXTREMELY realistic): hang my vape from a hook in the wall, in the living room so I have to get up and walk to my vape/shame corner any time I want to hit it. Eventually I'll get so lazy, I'll quit vaping. This plan has no holes/flaws. I will execute it soon and report back.

Call me charlie the way my neck is to die for ✨

"Gun deaths are unfortunately worth it to keep the 2nd ammendment” -Charlie Kirk

I hate when I compliment somebody on some sort of anime merch that they have, and they look at ME like I'M the cringe one. My brother in Christ, YOU're the one with a giant anime sticker on the back of your car.

How do I explain to cis people that I don't have long hair in a girl way? I have it in a loser, stoner, boyfriend way 😔😫

Whoever said that jojo's taste like Oreos is a DIRTY. Fucking. LIAR! That shit tasted like a dirty hydrox cookie at BEST

Getting off the phone with a southern woman is an Olympic sport

Does anyone wanna buy an old VW bus with me? I have an idea

Omg so excited 4 top surgery! (My lobotomy🥰🥰✨✨✨) Wish me luck!

I fainted while I was on the phone with my sister and she hung up on me! I am here to cancel her OFFICIALLY!!

I've never come across this emoji before but girl wtf...🫩🫩... she's just me

Maybe don't leave edibles in your car during the summer 🌞

What's the worst part about having a fainting disorder, you may ask? Why, it's the fact that if I side-eye too hard I get fucking light headed 😭 can't even be a shady bitch without being a dizzy one 😵‍💫😫

I adore the way butterflies and moths bumble around when they're flying. Cutie pies without a plan, flying all willy nilly. Where are they going? Even they didn't know 🥰🥰

If I pulled up to an empty high school and asked one of the custodial staff REALLY REALLY NICELY, do you think they would let me play one of the trumpets from the band room?

Can I pwease take it to my penthowse and fweak it? 🥺🥺

Just went to Pound Town and no one there knew you. Which is crazy, cuz we came together 🤔

Picture of a tattoo of a beetle on a leg 🪲

Beetle beetle beetle beatle beetle beetle 🪲🪲🪲

A drawing on lined paper of Luffy from one piece exclaming that he is going to be "King of the Hill!". Hank Hill from King of the Hill says in return, "That boy is alright". They are both smiling and it is clear that they will form a lifelong friendship from this interaction.

This might be one of my favorite things I've ever drawn I think ✨

Farted away the tummy ache 🥰💨 today's gonna be special, I can feel it ✨✨

Oh shit guys, we got pride in the morning!

I can smoke weed and eat gummy clusters again... We are so fucking back, boys 😩🙈🎉✨💦💯🔥

I dreamt I had a Dr pepper in the fridge and then I woke up and there was no Dr pepper in the fridge... Life is cruel

I have noticed that creatures pretty universally love when things spin around and I just think that's really neat

Being a southerner and aging into calling people "baby" condescendingly is such a trip but here I am

"This Parking Spot Reserved For Mr. Suck Ya Dick"