Brandon Bird

This year's Tmas card.

A customer's nicely-framed print of "Fantasy Frasier."

If you need a gift for a cool weirdo, I am a reliable source for Frasier prints, paintings of Sears, Jerry Orbach artifacts, Mr. T Christmas cards, etc. store.brandonbird.com

“Cozy Little T-mas” cards Make 2025 the softest, warmest T-mas yet with this set of five  4.25" x 5.5" greeting cards (blank interiors for writing your own messages) plus five envelopes.  Cards are in stock and ship ASAP!

They are blank. brandonbird.myshopify.com/collections/...

(This is one reason why "Bush did 9/11" never made any sense--if anything, being attacked by a country that *wasn't* Iraq fucked up what they were already planning.)

It went all the way back to the moment the first Gulf War ended. A decade of talk shows and newspapers framing the question as, "Should we go back and finish the job?" implying invasion was something left unfinished on a to-do list.

We need more trickster viziers, e.g. someone to convince him to have this made, wear it, and die of exertion and heat stroke.

This year's Tmas card.

A customer's nicely-framed print of "Fantasy Frasier."

If you need a gift for a cool weirdo, I am a reliable source for Frasier prints, paintings of Sears, Jerry Orbach artifacts, Mr. T Christmas cards, etc. store.brandonbird.com

Finally I can buy that celery I’ve been saving up for.

Mola Ram pulling out that dude's heart is a metaphor for Willie rejecting Indy's booty call.

The first act should have been the third act. It should have gone College--> jungle --> desert/doomtown/atomic bomb.

I feel like it's got good ingredients in the wrong order. It blows its A-bomb in the first act.

Weird, I wonder why demand might be higher in those places.

Look at this shot of Jack Nicholson and Sears #cinema

Frankenstein, or: Maybe You Shouldn't Have Built That Weird Man

"I have psychosexual issues regarding my mom, so I built a weird man."--plot of Frankenstein

"I made a guy, now I don't want him anymore." --plot of Frankenstein

Clinton lost because Trump (and 25 years of right wing messaging + misogyny) was able to portray her as untrustworthy and unstable. Biden as the nom would have reframed that election by making Trump the risky choice and Biden the choice of stability and continuity.

Halfway to being sold out!

[terrible music plays] "Our gusseted glitter-topped bag can be used for baked goods..." The whole point of dating mining is that you're supposed to understand consumer habits and you should know I am never, ever going to buy anything than the specific items that I always buy.

Whenever I buy stuff from Clearbags--a periodic bulk purchase of plastic sleeves and backing boards for prints--all my youtube ads become Clearbags ads.

All the data they have about you is related to purchases, but the absolute least important thing about me as a person is what I had delivered from Ralphs on Instacart.

Here's that thing you bought. Remember that thing you bought? Want to review the thing you bought, it will help others buy the thing.

In the last twenty years technology made a lot of tasks related to our consumptive lives a lot easier, and now no one working in tech can conceive of a human as having anything other than a consumptive life.

Yes, correct. Still younger than racism in the United States.

“Bake Space Nine” greeting cards The perfect card to send to for your darts-playing, Holodeck Davy Crockett-cosplaying bffs! Cards measure 5.5" x 4.25" and have a glossy exterior finish, with blank white interiors for writing your ow...

If you'd like to send a card to the Dr. Bashir in your life: brandonbird.myshopify.com/collections/...

Dough Bros.

Happy Birthday, Alexander Siddig.

Cozy little T-mas.

The new T-mas cards... are here. brandonbird.myshopify.com/collections/...

Someone just said to me that Sarah Palin was "before Obama;" I think I'll leave the internet for the day.

(And she also believed in climate change until her brand became "anti-Obama")

Sarah Palin was added to the ticket because they knew they were losing to Obama. She is a direct response to/against Obama.