Mr Roger Quimbly

War-a-Lago

Just farted so hard I named it Epic Fury.

Well, for a President of Peace he certainly likes killing people.

By not reading the Daily Mail?

Looks like that Nobel Peace Prize is in the bag now.

Busy weekend ahead on my local community Facebook page leaving rude and negative comments on people’s posts.

I highly recommend this very funny book.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Calm down.

I’m no political expert, but I think Keir Starmer may have gone a bit far in that letter by calling the Green Party a “bunch of cunts”.

“You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.”

The Olympic curling competition is over. I’m now an expert on by-election results.

Painful piles? Good.

Carrot and sausage surprise.

First Prince Andrew and now the Prince of Darkness. I’m beginning to see a pattern.

No words. Much love.

The return of the pork haystack.

I’m trying to become an amateur detective involved in solving mysterious and puzzling local murders. I wonder if any celebrity ‘cozy murder’ authors could give me any tips? The police just keep calling me a ghoul and telling me to fuck off.

Apparently someone in public life was nicknamed ‘The Cunt’. I’m afraid you’re going to have to be more specific.

Tough wank.

If you’re horny.

You bet.

What’s good for the goose…

Not a stitch.

I’m wearing slippers.

I’m looking forward to a thrilling finish.

I think that’s something you could pull off as long as you didn’t blow it.

@mattleys.bsky.social I believe you to be a huge fan of the men’s halfpipe. Don’t deny it.

Pretty pleased with my first day as an Uber driver. Five stars!

I’m free.