Tor

what health hazards have we been living with

We removed some shelves we put up with command strips from the apartment kitchen and WHY IS THE WALL SQUISHY UNDERNEATH IT

I think I can part with my 11 year old binder that hasn’t fit in years. I think that’s okay

One of my books on my “use for art” shelf is this 4th grade science textbook from the 80s

Did you know computers are machines??? Bet you didn’t!

we’re listening to the nier automata soundtrack as a family now and as the person who played the viola for nearly a decade and has obsessively listened to this soundtrack forever, i’m just sitting here going LISTEN TO WHAT THE STRINGS ARE DOING & pointing out where i think the violas are

living out the domestic fantasy every 20-something lesbian wishes about on tumblr

yes i did eat breakfast with my love and then we emptied the dishwasher together and set up our dining room and now we’re sitting at our dining room table listening to music, yes it is as gay and lovely as you imagine

this banana plant is scratching at my window begging to be let in

hooookay, bumping “trim banana plant” up the long list of things we need to work on, because it touches my bedroom window and in the wind I’m definitely getting man door hand hook car door vibes

*blow drying my gf’s hair & aiming the blow dryer directly in her face*:
me: yeah I know what girls like
me: a thing I viscerally hate
her: boys?

The grow out sucks soooo bad

i do contemplate on the regular growing my hair out again

i just can’t stand the growing out process

and nothing i did was ever enough bc there was still something -else- about me ppl could read off of me and say, cmon tor, why don’t you act like a girl???

well. because i’m too fucking gay, that’s why.

i wanted to be a girl so bad because i wanted to be loved and that felt like the missing link between what ppl said to me & why i was so alone. womanhood was a race i could win and the prize was affection, connection, approval. *esp* in conservative christianity. being a woman was a *goal* i had

so i wore makeup, i bought jewelry& feminine clothes, i plucked my eyebrows, i cut my hair in a feminine style, i pitched my voice up & it drove me insane. can you even envision this tor. i was so empty. looking in the mirror made me dizzy with unreality.

it is wild finding those little bits of history sometimes, like yes there was a time i tried breaking myself to fit feminine standards of womanhood. my gender crisis was nameless but everyone was poking & prodding at it, talking around it; what’s wrong you, tor, why don’t you act like a girl???

Tonight cleaning up the old apartment I have found:

-A pilot parallel I didn't even know I lost
-A 1.3 mechanical pencil I thought had gotten accidently thrown out years ago
-A headband I haven't worn since I moved to Portland in 2013

Good luck

It knows nothing but contains and synthesizes a model of the entire world, complete with every interior shot from every angle. It cannot spell and is also a God

People are like ai is dumber than a computer from the 70s and also can pinpoint your location from a picture of your bedroom carpet

subjecting all my friends to a masked required viewing of God’s Not Dead in my basement

also if you are an electrician can you tell us how to turn off our basement light because there is no light switch and nothing attached to the light itself to turn it on or off

look if ppl wanna have a masks required basement hangout in our house i’d do it. we could watch terrible christian movies. or play board games.

(once the basement is hospitable for life, which it basically is just as soon as we clean the shit out of that fucking carpet)

the one downside to this house is that it is the perfect house for friends. this house was made for friends. this place is absolutely designed around the idea that you invite all of your friends over to hang out in your weird 70s basement. it even has its own fireplace.

but.

covid.

Honestly unrealistic of the Sims to not have you move into your new place and have a bunch of repairs you have to make immediately

There was no multitasking allowed in that kitchen. Two people couldn't make dinner at the same time, you couldn't make toast and use the microwave because only one appliance could be powered at once, just a mess

We can have the microwave *and* the electric kettle going *at the same time* and it will not short circuit our electricity!

I bet I can print something with my printer and have it not risk causing a power outage!

If you want this picture frame lemme know

Can't believe no one nabbed this picture frame from our free box that I bought from scrap a decade ago because I thought it was funny but never actually used for any joke purpose

I feel so self-conscious marveling over every little thing but also how can I not marvel over every little thing