Simon Pegg

Director's crinkle-Cut.

Make the ins square so once the potato has chilled into the layered 'block', it makes it MUCH easier to slice into the appropriate shapes, ready for phase 2.

Board of Peace-takers, more like.

Once again I remind you, that EVERY time they release one of these 'Crisis Room' shots from Mar-a-Lago, it looks like one of those set ups in 'Rogue Traders' where they get the experts holed up in a loft watching the secret cameras film a dodgy plumber trying to rip off Edith, 84.

🎶... And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air🎶

If you don’t like Nigel’s principles, don’t worry, they’ll change in a minute.

We all need this.

❤️ Tori

😬

They be chillin' overnight.

How are you doing on the chocolate and tabs?

I remember the, almost halcyon, days when everything was prefaced on social media through the medium of minions.

I'm praying the end of the world can hold off for at least another 12 hours, to be honest.

Now, for tomorrow's edition, you'll need vegetable oil and either:

a. A deep frying pan, that will take a good 2cm or more layer of veg oil.

or.

b. A small fryer. NOT an air fryer.

I've picked up a tiny deep fat fryer online for about £24 on Amazon. But, end of world is imminent so fuck it.

Step Seventeen.

Once at a suitable, cool, temperature, put the tins, stacked and weighted as your had them, in the fridge.

AT LEAST 12 HOURS or, as in this case, overnight. You want everything to chill and come together. Effectively you're making a 'block' of creamy, layered, potato.

Step Sixteen.

After about 10 mins cooling, and making sure top is sealed as much as you can, take second tin and place it over the top, lining it with something like kitchen roll before putting a HEAVY OBJECT in the second tin. I tend to use the Mortar from the P&M in the background.

Let cool.

Step Fifteen.

Pull out the baking paper around the tin, so it's out like photo 1. The, put the baking sheet over the top and roll both up together so that it's 'sealed' as much as you can. As per photo 2.

Let this cool a bit, for like 10 mins. like this.

Right, back at it

Step Fourteen.

Take out of oven, and if you haven't already put it on a tray (which I'd advised doing before putting in the oven, to catch the cream spillage) then do so now.

Check you have something like this, and KEEP THR COVERING BAKING PAPER.

15 minutes to go on the first cook, lads.

Update soon.

Operation: EPIC FURY

is short for

Operation: EPstein Influence Continues Fucking Us Royally, Y'all.

Is that all still for under a fiver on the Meal Deal?

I'VE STILL GOT AT LEAST 12 HOURS TO GO ON THOSE POTATOES, LADS.

It's like I keep my finger on the pulse.

in a mortuary.

21 years old, that meme, lads

Operation: EPIC FURY was the second choice. They were originally going to go with Operation: LEEEEEEEEERROYYY JENKINS

Home | Matt Owen | Freelance Writer | Speech Writer I offer a broad and diverse range of writing services. Get in touch!

My husband @mjowen174.bsky.social is very down and it’s difficult to see.
He had a thriving writing business until AI came along but now he’s struggling to find work.
Please repost this far and wide in the hope that he can find some writing work.
www.mathew-owen.co.uk

Interlude.

Right. Bugger all else to do until first cook is done, and we're not even halfway there yet with the timing. (Although the main faff is done)

I'll be back later to do the next step before the overnight cool.

Oh yes, there's an overnight cool. They're not called 15hr potatoes for nowt.

Step Thirteen.

Do a general tidy up in the kitchen, cos there's naff all to do for three hours other than check the news to see the unfolding and relentless horror of everything outside.

Also, see that other tin you've got? Find something HEAVY that will fit into it. You'll need that for stage 2.

Step Twelve.

After getting the potatoes in there, flat, layered etc, pour some of that leftover cream in there too.

Then, put that other sheet of baking paper over the top, to act as a cartouche, and bung it in the 120degC oven for THREE HOURS on middle shelf.

This is the first cook...