jealousy professor

also actual sorry that how did I not see that it should be "the pains of peeing, poop, and fart"

I will begin killing one person per hour until the dewpoint drops to 55

also it is a really bad deepfake. a shallowfake

mister loser

sorry sorry I'm trying to remove it

the pains of being poop and fart

"we will take the people who make your phone unusable by calling 12 times a day and hang them in the town square" would win 70% of the vote

honk if you jerry

Washington Post: “Is fascism bad? The answer may surprise you”

Teen Vogue: “Here are three fun tips you can use this summer to disable an armored personnel carrier”

it's gonna be so funny when they trade him for prospects in 23 months

hm

Topshelf Records Launches Donation Initiative for Aid in Gaza The label behind Ratboys, Ekko Astral, and more will match donations to the Sameer Project for the next five months

topshelf records doing what all labels should right now ❤️🇵🇸🕊️ @topshelfrecords.com

trusted by whom exactly

A screenshot of a news article from the verge. It reads “With Gemini, Williams says, you can just give the details of the message and a tone. Maybe you're running late, so you say, "Tell my spouse I'm 15 minutes late and send it in a jokey tone." Instead of having to think of what to say, the bot will write it for you.”

Grounds for divorce imo

a person, sure, things happen. but why are you as a business with an e-commerce presence hanging on to shit

it should be illegal for a business to create a shipping label and then not ship for a week

I have no idea who this person is or what the song is. thank god

I also love how exactly zero of these ads are in any way specific about what help he allegedly provided

that video 🧡

Donald Jump

Is There a Smart Way to Lock Yourself in the Garage with Your Car Engine Running?

this may sound harsh but people at these town halls need to start swarming these dipshits and dragging them into the street to be stoned

[sir mix-a-lot voice] dreamworks face with a pixar booty

cletus the slack-jawed yokel on a telephone pole yelling "get off the dang roof"

“look i don’t care what it’s about just give me 300 words”

Sometimes we start pigeonholing our old heroes because we've learned about their flaws - and sometimes they remind us why we loved them in the first place.

[writing this girl's obit in 90 years] she taught me it was ok to be stinky

Me drunk at 1 am trying to order jalapeño poppers

*me at a meeting of the knights of the round table* ugh this could’ve been a scroll

michigan star restaurant