dancefloor intimacy coordinator

A man just rolled through my profile and liked every post so I now have to send him every nude on my phone because im powerless against such rizz

fully clothed on here if you can believe it

Ok someone just used it to share a photo of a Ferrari parked in a disability space without a pass

Oh you can actually turn those off under the privacy settings

This is all just a ploy to get more people to send them to me

Is this you asking to be included or

Yeah that’s the fascinating part, you can send it to anyone regardless of interactions

Do you set yours to send to favorites? Or people you’ve unlocked for?

oh and I think everyone you send to gets a push notification

has anybody else used this Scruff feature? It’s fascinating — you can send out a picture(s) to a defined group of people but you can’t see who’s viewed it. You just wait for woofs and messages to roll in

why are you as a bathhouse putting Halloween decorations in your dark room

slow Monday

met a guy named Ryan on the dance floor and immediately showed him these tweets and he was absolutely baffled as to how I had them ready to go

i am the first gay guy to get a fade

the sloppiest cumdump you know is currently scanning that yeshomo instagram account trying to decide which soft core porn “‘slams laptop shut til Monday” post they’ll embed in their close friends story

I am actually quoted in this story so this tracks

Boring, tired responses to thirst traps:
- Sexy
- Hot
- 🤤

Cool, unique responses
- I want to suck your soul out through your urethra
- King Arthur himself would not be able to pull me out of you
- 🩼🩼

let’s go for a spin

I so want to know the internal customer behaviour research they’ve done on this — are users expecting berries on their chocolate cake when they order? Do they get annoyed the delivery doesn’t match the photo?

Unfortunately the only real solution is to make sure your knives are sharp and practice to build up your speed

Opened Snapchat for the first time in forever to receive a message from a friend and was confronted by chats from 2014 that are just still there in the recents tab, ready to pick up and resume

That’s nothing, try 34 years uncut

Edited screenshot of a Sia tweet, sections in brackets in different font, indicating insertion or edit: sia @Sia Hey [@charlixcx @taylorswift] you aren't thinking about a feud right now are you? We are focused on the problem of [a government shutdown] 9:00 PM • 6/12/20 • Twitter for iPhone

From now on only sexting with a pre approved list of words given to me by a random Canadian furry on Bluesky

many such cases

happy new music Friday I’m keeping my mouth shut today

Have reached a point in Silksong Act 2 where I have multiple objectives but attempting any of them is either brutally difficult or inscrutable and so every attempt to keep playing just leaves me kind of pissed off

a bunch of middle aged blue wave folks are retweeting this without reading the body text

You are replying to post complaining that it’s harder to jerk off with guys in the locker room now