Aurelia by Night

Currently on a vacation in Wales, where I’m peacefully spending my day trying to build a 2891 piece lego set 😌 Unfortunately, I vastly underestimated the complexity of this fucking task.

I was wondering what that agressive beeping was! ❤️

Had an absolutely fabulous evening with a new friend yesterday 🥰 Rated 69/10 by both participants.

A tall, nude woman balanced on her tiptoes by the sofa

Smoother than silk 🍑

That's EXTREMELY scary 😬

Friendly reminder that if you request for me to come over dressed casual, I’ll be wearing lululemon with no underwear which is really a win-win for everybody involved. Im comfy and you’re hard 💕

Just watched “the substance”. Very torn. On one hand, it’s fun and entertaining. On the other, I can’t imagine wanting to be anything other than a milf so I don’t really get the premise

Lots of successful guys walk around absolutely touch-starved because they work non-stop and have no time or energy for relationships.

It's rarely about the wild sex people outside the industry tend to think this entire business is about.

Sometimes a man just needs to be held

(The mind flayer is my favourite)

Imagine thinking you're going to have a perfectly normal pleasant dinner date with a provider you just hired and instead I show up with my newly purchased Royal Mail limited edition Dungeons and Dragons postage stamps set and insist on talking you through each and every one

Shitty date idea: we build this together for a week straight fuelled by nothing but red bulls and delusion:

https://www.nand2tetris.org/

After fighting for my dear life this past month I’m happy to announce I’m finally done with my academic education 😌

I’ll be out of office until the 30th to get some well earned rest and I’ll get back to any enquiries as soon as get back! 🫡

Listen, I can’t fix your problems with vanilla relationships, business deals or whatever else is going sideways in your life. I do, however, have PHENOMENAL breasts and I’m going to fuss over you like my life depends on it, which kinda makes the other stuff irrelevant doesn’t it

Thinking about the time I sent my services & rates page to a guy who enquired and he sent me back a link to “why humans have sex” article trying to convince me that I should do it for free because my oxytocin levels will increase

Being an escort is hard, because you have to sit there nodding politely when your client is telling you a clearly bullshit story. "And then all 12 of them offered to suck you off, just like that? Wow - and they wouldn't even take the money?!" All with a straight face

You know what’s weird about escorting? You meet somebody whose hands are shaking in the lobby and only 3 short hours later this man is comfortable enough to share his deepest secrets. I appreciate the trust but also really wish you kept the murder you committed in 87’ to yourself

Escorting is hard because you have to hide what you do when you first meet new people. I always end up making up some random shit on the spot because I get nervous and now it’s 3 years later and 20% of my friend group is convinced I’m a fucking train conductor

Rewatching Hannibal thinking about how he's the sexiest fictional man. Intelligent, articulate, polite, fantastic chef. And yeah he cannibalised a couple hundred people but honestly can we afford to be neurotic about minor personality quirks in 2023

My date: goes deep into the far-reaching consequences on global financial markets and supply chains resulting from ongoing trade disputes and sanctions between major economies

Me: did you know geese can see UV light

Some peeps have missed that my overnight and travel rates have been raised recently, so please take a peak at my website for all upcoming shenanigans. Thank you for valuing my company 🥂

Update on my driving lessons progress - after switching to automatic I am no longer nervous about driving. Seriously, huge relief. I now run over curbs and toddlers completely anxiety free 😌

Escort twitter virtuous circe: the more I tweet about my interests and personality the more clients I attract who share the exact same characteristics the more quality time is had by all parties involved

10/10 highly recommend doing this

How many hours in a single week should I be able to clock in Baldur's Gate 3 before my friends and family members have the moral obligation to intervene?

After carefully analysing my finances, I've concluded that the majority of my best clients are in tech. So from now on, I'm only tweeting about tech to lure them in.

HAHA YES KUBERNETES MATE. DOCKER AND SUCH

About nerves before the date:

1. They will go away within the first couple of minutes after stepping through that door, I promise.
2. If budget allows, booking social time before will help you relax.

Obviously if you’re meeting me specifically, be afraid. Be very afraid. 👹

I just booked a really, REALLY nice trip for my birthday and I’m proud that I can pay for it armed with nothing but personal initiative and huge tits 🥰

How to reach out to a provider:

Hi, my name is X, age Y. I found your ad on Z and would like to set up a date! I was hoping to meet on [date] at [time] for [duration]. I attached my screening details, please let me know if you need anything else to proceed.

Don't “hi” us pls 😘

I love it when newbies submit their info like it's a job interview when they contact me for the first time. They take it SO seriously. Melts my cold, unfeeling heart. Come here, you little treasure. I'll take care of you 🥺

I’m a little confused as to why I get asked to do video calls instead of screening.

My brother in Christ, this is not a vibe check. I’m trying to see if you have a history of violence.

Besides, which part of me blurring out my face in my photos screams FaceTime me? 😭

Seriously though, I value these little signs of appreciation and I’m glad I could fill whatever emotional need was there.