I did mine first
Lms if you up slurpin on that mortal coil rn
Lips are dry……. But it’s too windy to put on lipgloss……..
My life hasn’t felt this crushing since i was a teen but unfortunately i finally figured out a routine that consistently works, so I’ve never looked better. Incredibly confusing time to be 26 and also me
I went to clown school and everyone said you were their favorite instructor
Tiktok trying to trick you into using their ai model ON A VIDEO ASKING YOU TO NOT USE IT DURING BLACK HISTORY MONTH oml
Dudes will say their favorite movie is oppenheimer then work at lockhead martin
BH Allergy more like Dr. Opp
Not my allergist that’s known me for 5 minutes telling me more than once not to bother w an autism assessment. Girl stick to histamines lmfao mr. benadryl wants a psych degree based off vibes 😭
In my defense we read the great gatsby and the transcendentalists a LOT
Forever jealous when people had a good relationship w one of their English teachers. Mine all hated me bc i interpreted every book villain as being an metaphor for capitalism ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Kendrick shouting pussy on doves in the wind
Chocolate chips do not belong in banana bread
Excited to announce that i plan to be unabashedly hot in 2026
Keep getting tamale blue balled. Masa balled </3
Need a tamale hookup BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD
How many??
Is 2026 gunna be your year or can we share?
Wait i had no idea there was a new knives out and now im JEALOUS
Oh no, for once we return to the core of social media and your friends and loved ones are sharing their interests with their community?????? The absolute horror!!!
People who post cynical shit about no one caring about spotify and apple wrapped stories should all be taken out back and shot.
Tiktok making your comments appear first for people you know is a damn shame. It really holds me back from my true commenting potential.
Sneezed in the hotel cafe and none of the strangers said bless you 😞
Pooping at the dallas airport and the toilet has self flushed 7 times already while im sitting on it. I think im being punished for being crotchety all day
My vote absolutely can be bought by the first person to do something about phones on speaker in public settings
Everyone in this airport is insane and slow (clinically) except me
The real issue w people presenting ocd as organization skills and germaphobia is that every bitch w ocd that i know has moldy plates next to her bed and rolls around on bathroom floors at clubs. She just also thinks she caused 9/11
Accomplished !!
It’s thinking me thursday yall thinking me?
Ive had maybe genuinely the worst week of my adult life but my chef at work made me beef stew and a chicharon gordita so it kind of feels like im not even allowed to pout about it anymore after being shown such love
