En 🧏 @ Hiatus

it makes me so mad that all i ever got was these token diversity art exhibitions in a gallery corner but here i am broke and unable to get my foot in the industry

for all the work (+ damage to my hands and wrists) i did i never even got in...

i've never owned too many sketchbooks since then because that whole semester just made it too difficult to near impossible to draw in one... and if i ever did, they all only have a single page in it with art i gave up on...

i can't sketch, i can't doodle, all i can create is these classically rendered pieces that just... don't feel good to me...

calarts applications were literally so traumatizing for me with the whole sketchbook submission thing... i'm unable to draw in a sketchbook at all without botching(?) the first page and tossing it away unless it feels "purposeful/aesthetically pleasing/perfect"

gender affirmation is also really complex. some of us (like me) are undoing years of invasive treatments while others might seek to fit into their gender identity more. it's all super complex.

there's so many factors as to why some intersex folks cannot get gender affirming care (btw not all of us want it, not all people will seek it) and i've had to wrestle with accepting myself as i am and the future too. i'd like my ocs to reflect that since they're all some form of intersex.

akira major design change update ‼️ been thinking about it a lot and removing his top surgery scars actually... not out of shame or anything but- as a guy who cannot get top surgery due to a lot of factors i'd like more of my ocs to just reflect an idea of intersex body neutrality/positivity

i hope they explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #shalffxiv #galeposting w vamp @dragoonlances.bsky.social

it'll be like when sora stands next to elsa one moment and then captain jack sparrow the next

opened up dms to keep in touch with mutuals. i'll close them a bit later but if anyone is interested in swapping discords or something i'm happy to.

returning to my break from here. i wish i could offer a better sort of feed of art and funny content but... i can't draw nowadays, i lack the safety and space to even just live. i have to live with my head down and isolated because of how dangerous my country has gotten. i wish things were better.

i miss art and ocs, i miss sharing things... but socmed is so draining and life in general is... exhausting. also this site just isn't good for posting oc lore.

on a lighter note, i really want to keep connections i've made with folks on here so encouraging mutuals to dm to keep in touch!

thinking about how it wasn't until i got involved in post art and interactions here that i started getting harassed which is... telling. i haven't decided what i'll do yet but honestly it might just be the depression talking from my current unstable situation.

i'm also in a very not stable situation, i can't even draw or work on comms because of my current instability. i don't feel any comfort from socmed so i'd be okay without it but... yeah, getting your art out there sucks.

i'm not necessarily a strict xiv artist but if definitely feels like the main thing i'm interested in. but i think the community here is way too comfortable with being ignorant and bigots lmao.

i've been thinking of just completely deleting socmed or moving to a different platform like tumblr (never really tried it). there's petty drama and the xiv fandom sucks so bad here lol. i've never been a socmed person, i hate that there's no other way to share art sometimes...

there is something deeply wrong with both of them 🫶

#shalffxiv #galeposting w/vamp @dragoonlances.bsky.social

all it takes is One Beautiful Man to fix gale

vamp casually undoing 15 years of bullshit like it’s nothing

#shalffxiv #galeposting w/vamp @dragoonlances.bsky.social

please a tapestry for my wall it's so beautiful!!!

the sea serpent and his beloved pearl
#FSHverse #oc #ocsky

OBSESSED... the composition and colors 🤌

humor me

#shalffxiv #galeposting w/Vamp @dragoonlances.bsky.social

already went crazy in the server about this but THIS GOES CRAZY DUDE RAAAHHH

on contracts

#galeposting #shalffxiv (w/ vamp @dragoonlances.bsky.social )

i gotta go back to taking a break because... it's still dire but also see you all soon!

i stretch my hand really long and reach for you

[cowering] THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION PLEASE ENJOY THESE GENRES ALL YOU WANT!