Clan Ventrue (RPG Parody)

You could call it this, yes.

It is a fair distribution of temporary power.

We use a weed based, complex mechanism to determine who is in charge of this noble duty.

Splendid, we love to meet our siblings.

But „lyfe“? Do you run a hotel in Vienna?

No, it is not. Yet, we have founded the Camarilla with @clantoreador.bsky.social and @housetremere.bsky.social

Please do not be upset we expect a certain amount of respect and skillset.

We usually don’t give in to beckons of the void (what is this constant beckoning lately anyway?), but this one sounds reasonable.

One more vote for the Tzimisce.

We are impressed by working pyramid schemes and they get a pass.

// Being the first follower of @clantzimisce.bsky.social has a certain ring to it.

// Tzimisce would be fun. Any open clan or other WoD splat is welcome. If you make a clan or splat alt please be considerate. We want to have fun. 😊

// the Gangrel is a different person

// this is getting tedious. Don’t we have Anarch accounts anymore?

A cat temple
*the ghoul still shakes his head and makes pleading gestures*

This sounds useful. Would you teach us as well?
*behind her Richard the ghoul shakes his head mouthing „please, no“*

Correct. We already run through our known contacts but did not find a promising victim, err, promotion candidate.
Maybe @clantoreador.bsky.social has some Anarch she wants us to promote.

We have a feeling they did choose the name as a reference.

8.99 seems a fair price for a cat.

Bones is the cat @clanhecata.bsky.social received in the cat distribution system.
We are still debating wether Bones is a cat cat or a shapeshifter cat.

This was a vague statement on purpose. Our need of socialising is an intimate detail we will not discuss in public.

Well, we don’t know. We just know that @usurper1872.bsky.social is a Tremere and their magic is powerful.
We don’t know if they disguised as a cat.

Bones is a cat.

They are Warlocks. It’s not a guess of us, they told us so.

We were talking about escort services.

We will do this for the now. But don’t tell the Prince and don’t ask for it in Elysium.

@clanhecata.bsky.social did you doublecheck if Bones is not @usurper1872.bsky.social is disguise? We haven’t heard of them lately, they are fond of cats and now the craft of the Warlocks.

They are all messing with us. Their sole existence is an affront.

Oh, do not worry. We get all the petting we need.
In fact, we run a whole business for this, including extended petting.

Which inevitably circles back to our first statement of the crown being a metaphor and no real crown.

*scratches the Gargoyles head* This is highly interesting. If the coronation plan doesn’t work we will try this.

There might be a coronation ceremony. Metaphorical.

The crown is a metaphor. It is not about a real and solid crown.
You do know that?