michael lutz

Treating myself to the traditional English homemade "sweet" or candy known as a "pecan halvesie" consisting of half a pecan dipped in clotted cream and dispensed only when one has been brilliant or splendid

[Mario screams as he enters the Pipe Maze.]

I'm here to spread joy

City of troy: Haunted house Wooden house: ghost-proof horse Soldiers: my & my friends w/ snacks & sleeping bags & n64

ME: thanks to AI, more stepmothers are getting pregnant than ever before
ANCIENT MARINER REPLYING FROM THE DISCOVER TAB: Aye, and so me stepmother pregnant was
When at last we did set sail,
From out the bay and straight away
From verdant hill or dale!

For many nights the winds blew right,
But alas

Campbell's Soup! Now available at Arby's for a limited time

Doug is on the phone. Someone is saying, "If I were an escaped goat, I'd hide in the maze."

Doug's Big Game (GBC, 2000)

Bleak Michael: Alas, I fear there is little to do to prevent drug overdoses and spontaneous human combustion.

Cowboy Michael, readying his lasso and a bucket of dirt: Chin up, partner, this bronco hasn't bucked us yet!

given long enough on a website i will eventually use all functions at my command in order to experiment with the function and timing of a joke; cohost let you do weird things with linkable drafts where i made primitive hyperlink gags (owl vortex), this place lets you repeat yourself and quote things

the joke is that this is how the book goes anyway. i went through all this trouble and i dsidn';t ewven fuicking shchange ianthning

HOW BLEAK HOUSE WOULD HAVE GONE IF I WAS THERE:

bro what do you have there? bro is that--is that opium? b ro no!!!! don't flee to your squalid room above Mr. Krook's shop!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO

could be fun

everything else about this article and its claims aside that phonetic spelling is incredible for how it overwrites the joke about faux French luxury with like, a freeware program from 2002 that lets you decompress obscure file-types

you ever look back with immense sorrow and pity at the needlessly bitter but intensely pursued agendas of people trapped in a world they don't realize is preparing to die in a frenzy

“Will no one rid me of this demented pedo?!”

Bro I heard Mr. Tulkinghorn is asking questions about your penmanship

episode 032

Most of the footage of the famous 2000 "Super Mario 128" tech demo was recorded with handheld cameras by the audience, with the presenter drowning out the game sound. Only 10 seconds of direct feed footage exist, which reveal that the sound was a cacophony of Marios screaming.

Walking to the top of a staircase that is somehow the bottom of the same staircase. hate this shit

Just got back from the Anne Geddes garden and ohh it's changed. The babies are all wandering around outdoors dressed as withered daisies and dead ducklings and stuff. We slapped on the windows to get Anne to come out and take care of them but there was no answer. Newspapers stacked to the ceiling.

LADY DEMONHEART: Come away from the window, dear.
ME (GAZING INTO THE FOG): no I think not

This old cat statue on the counter brings me more luck than a night on the town ever could.

This is my new go-to excuse whenever anyone asks me to hang out www.theverge.com/24031687/nvi...

2. Method 2 of 3: colluding with friends. Image depicts a young woman making an offer collusion to another. WikiHow

episode 059

household argument over which one of us is Frog and which is Toad. I'm insisting I'm Frog even though I know very well I'm Toad (for this is what Toad would do)

star wars is essentially about a school rivalry. you can go to Good School but decide it's stupid and transfer to Evil School. you can start Evil School but graduate from Good School. you can think you're in Good School but actually you're doing your homework wrong and then suddenly bam Evil Diploma

*guy who thinks "crossing the rainbow bridge" means coming out as queer* I cant believe how homophobic dog owners are