pearl 🔞 after the party

i dont want to sift through 30 futa mods and horse cocks made by fetishists just to find a google doc with c+ presets where the smallest option is still a god damn coke can, i want to go back to downloading 10 different ttmp files like god intended

TOO BIG ! TOO WIDE ! SMALLEST OPTION IS LONGER THAN ONE HAND ! TIP COLORS ARE ALL THE SAME ! THERE MIGHT NOT EVEN BE SIZE OPTIONS ! NEWER MODS ONLY OFFER CUT OPTIONS AND I'M NOT LETTING CIRCUMCISION EXIST IN MY WRITING ! FUCK !!!!

back here to complain about penis mods

the rats say “i am made of flowers from my grandma :(“ and they’re not joking.

god bless fantasy for constantly allowing so many different options for characters to get their perfect vessel, i need to hear about more ocs that are spending 7 years of their lives to crafting a spell to mold flesh and it going perfectly. a potion even. a 3 year trek to get a niche ingredient.

at first i thought it would be easy to simply cut the balls off of the typical penis mods, but sekitan ALSO has a vagina so it’s not that simple… NOTHING can be simple with sekitan apparently i fucking hate this idiot

i know there’s plenty of “intersex” passable genitalia mods for the fem body models so kaigara will certainly be easy. sekitan however i’m scared… masc highlander model… i might be able to work with the larger clit / t-dick mods but sekitan has an AMAB penis…

i haven’t even gotten to ayame’s body im never going to finish these stupid RATS. UUUUUUGH. even hyouga i need to redo, i never want to look at base bibo again UUUUUGH

which means i’m thinking yet again about the rainbow rats and the orgy. i need to remember the orgy. i’ll get to gpose an orgy when i finish modding all of them. oh my god. there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

forcing myself to stay awake for another 35 minutes so i can feed my stupid yelling cat

I'M NOT TRYING TO KINK SHAME this isn't even about kink at this point, i think i just think some people are bad at writing sex & intimacy and it makes my skin crawl. balmung erp kind of shit.

i don't know, i just think if i was writing a character to be a """"brat tamer"""" and then the other character started throwing out shit that sounds like a middle school delinquent out of nowhere instead of, like, any actually appropriate words of defiance, i'd have to start drafting the rp breakup

i can't believe it's almost been 10 years since i got REALLY into bdsm culture, time isn't real... it feels like another life entirely... i don't even like sex myself, how was i managing all that...

in a writing sense, i think my other issue comes with a broader issue, which is when characters enter an intimate scene and seem to suddenly act as though they are a completely different person, when it doesn't really make sense... and then i inevitably discover that the writer always does that...

but then those who DO write or perform this specific kink in a way that ISN'T uncomfortable or disingenuous, i then feel as though "brat" just doesn't fit... how can you be so convincingly defiant and fighty and you're going to diminish it to "being bratty"... it's semantics but i just dont like it

i've never liked these terms, i think mostly because i do associate them with children, and then i very rarely see people "do" these specific kinks without reminding me of childish/adolescent behavior - granted as i said the demographic i see is mostly "vanilla-adjacent 'kinksters'" (and heteros)

"brat" & "brat tamer" i think are also misnomers, i think the almost childishly defiant behavior that vanilla-adjacent "kinksters" typically attribute to the word "brat" is really boring and often seems disingenuous - like the "acting" is bad, even if they're genuinely having fun with it.

c'stajha you're soooooo nasty... i wish i could manually organize the tied ones - this makes it look like masochism is above sadism... "ageplayer" is crazy i actually don't know how that got so high, she really couldn't give a shit?? i wonder if the more "owner"/"master" angled questions added to it

i dont care if she's not finished i love a middie who looks stupid as fuck

everyone shut the fuck up right now my fucking BABY GIRL

realized as i hit send that i don’t like dicks bigger than 6” so i gave him a big dick specifically as punishment for being a piece of shit. yeah you get light headed with every erection and you can’t fit it all the way into the love of your life. that is EXACTLY what you deserve, actually.

bourrache is like my only character with what i would consider a big dick and he did nothing to deserve that. why’d he get that going for him.

mad as i realize cyrille almost definitely gets support from a corset or a stay and not a more modern garment like a bra, but honestly that creates a far more sensual and intimate situation and i’m frothing out of my mouth

adonis had to buy their first real bra with the help of cyrille i think, mostly because the idea of them having to do it themself makes me sad, but it means cyrille gets to figure out where adonis got boobs and also how to fit them and GOD maybe adonis had a good life with cyrille and bourrache

scaevola & aquila could attempt to reconcile by talking about being under the trans umbrella but scaevola is so stealth he doesn’t want to talk about it and aquila would need to have it explained how the term is relevant to them at all, so unfortunately they continue to hate each other passively

i know i’m making a lot of posts on this account that sound like regular oc thoughts but know that if im here then im making those posts while actively thinking about them naked

imagine raising the most autistic daughter alive and she hits 16 and goes “i want to be in the military” and now she’s your son and you all get away with it. everyone’s too preoccupied with the fact that they’re rivaling the crown prince in their training assessments

aquila’s parents seriously say “this is our baby aquila” (photo of a statue that could either be apollo or artemis)

so close to falling asleep that i’m having those micro sleeps where you have an entire dream in 2 minutes

jump scared by realizing aquila has body hair WHAT DO YOU MEAN. they’re so entirely contained within ffxiv that i just picture a ken doll. it just doesn’t make SENSE

especially about aquila, what am i if not a serial killer's biography author