spooky MJ

"after changing their bottle shapes, sales spiked, this proves how smart design drives big results" then four extremely phallic bottle shapes

product design is my *mmpf~* passion

it's literally the worst thing to ever happen to anyone. i must return home and repent for my sins.

missed a few hairs when shaving this morning, guess I'll just have to end my life

tom of gotchi

mirror selfie. im sticking out my hip and giving the peace sign. black skinny jeans and a black button down top with all sorts of white animal skeletons.

workday goofin

so chill media

the "clear" button in the notifications drop down now overlaps with the back button so i cant actually clear my notifications

great job, samsung UI designers. stellar work.

columbussy

I should just throw away my cialis, i cant even take a half of one without getting a splitting headache nowadays. god forbid i want a nice reliable boner.

i think he transcends the very concept of foreskin

incredible ratio brewing

one butthole after another

come over

may i sex you dear? can i to be sexed?

deliscous bipscuips

oliver sutton

grimace was last year. he abandoned us.

kicked out of the sports bar because i wont stop shouting "small ball is back baby!"

cum pewter

smudged my freaking nail polish

idk i just started the pills, hard to say if the cream has really been doing anything at all. just tryin it out.

i am THE fuckass

oh wait i just made your phone show it to you. sorry.

tolerable imo

no greater sin than to be a rascal

do you want to be awe-inspiring or awwww-inspiring?

you are biffed

notification from x the everything app from brian krassenstein saying "praying for Joe biden" bc he's getting radiation for his prostate

why is my phone showing me this. i do not want to see this.

whatdoilooklike, somesorta fuckass?