Russell and the Wolf Choir

Have you ever asked a bride at their wedding if they are into Greek Mythology, because I have…

I really should be less famous than what I am

The problem with buying a box of TicTacs is that you become a human rattle after opening them.

My 3 year old daughter just said to me “you stinky little old children” and I guess that’s what we all are once we reach a certain age

Nothing heightens your reflexes more than playing catch with a 3 year old

Do you think I should be taller?

It’s wild how many grifters there are in the world.

One time I thought I bought a wolf mask from eBay to use for shows but it turns out it was some leather sex mask.

For a government which really like to stick their ore in for free speech in other countries, really struggle with the concept on their own turf. It’s almost as if free speech is only allowed if it aligns with their overarching views - which is effectively agreement.

I should stress they were clean at the time of wearing

I’ve some how ended up with and inadvertently worn my father in laws underpants…

I’m a November sort of person.

This song got me into them - haven’t listened in a while, but can still here those clop sounds.

Ds2 was my first pedal. It had a mode called sticky that, at the time, I had no idea what it was doing. I traded it for a multi effects digitech pedal, which I immensely regret. The digitech stopped working after a few years and I’m sure the boss pedal would survive being dropped from space.

Shall I buy a Stanley cup?

“Daddy, pretend you was a fence”
Ok

Bought some satin pyjamas and I now look like I’m in a space B-movie

Toddlers are brutal. A reaction to a dinner I just made “I don’t want that! I want you to put it in the bin forever!”

Adding to my using up all toiletries in the house - I found this after wash moisturiser cream and I now smell like my nan.

On the wind up of school, where we were signing each others’ shirts and cards, I wrote the lyrics to Just Looking by the Stereophonics in this girl I fancied card. She thought I just came up with it, and I thought it was just the lamest even then.

Sorry you’re starving, I’m popping to space for 11 minutes and I have little left from my wages today

What was the cost to the environment for sending a bunch of rich celebrities into space for 11 minutes? Monetarily, how many people can we could we pull out of poverty by donating that money?

We’ve all given up on ironing our clothes, right?

I’ve been analysing how I walk again and I don’t know how I function in life

I once time straight up said “compliments to the chef” in a mid tier chain restaurant

Sometimes, the number of notifications DuoLingo send borders on harassment

I’m doing this thing where I’m winding down all the odd products I have to simplify going forward (moisturisers, aftershaves etc) - I’ve just hit Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male, and I’m not sure I can pull this off every day.

I had a dream that my partner was going around town telling people I put on low quality screen protectors, when I really don’t!

Talk dirty to me

Biscuit spread

Will condemnation do anything?