Lindsay but pumpkin-spiced

I’ll never forget the Super Bowl in which my dad decided the best way to discard five pounds of cooked spaghetti was with the garbage disposal and everyone missed the end of the game because they were trying to figure out how the hell to unclog the sink

Sending my husband paint ideas because I decided this Thanksgiving was the perfect time to redo the kitchen. If you think this is a bad idea please comment below 🫶

Sometimes I post wildly food unsafe posts and it’s because I need attention, sorry

If you guys want love and attention feel free to just text me next time, it’s okay

If I have a 23 pound turkey, how many days do I have to leave it at room temperature until it’s thawed?

I wish I could but I can’t. I can’t do it.

Laying down my pacifism after watching a woman skip the entire Costco line despite several customers saying “there’s a line”

I just hope this helps my posts get a little less unhinged but who knows

I am at the doctor’s finally advocating for myself over my life-long insomnia, and it’s a little win but it’s one nonetheless

mewithoutYou’s career is actually insane. Their entire discography is just figuring out how to exceed their last album. One of the few bands to keep getting better and better before going out on top 20 years later

Yeah for me it takes me back to the 90s when dinner had a mandatory sign of lukewarm canned green beans and I don’t care to revisit!!

When I stopped drinking, literally I didn’t tell anyone for a month because it was such a quiet struggle full of constant self-confrontation, and it was too tender of an experience to invite in people who I couldn’t trust

No one owes you an explanation!

I wish. The one I went to had people debating the ethics of space travel, and they composted all the leftovers which goes against my “throw the plate upside down as to not offend” Midwestern tendencies

Y’all ever go to a Quaker potluck? Those things are crazy

Oh, I can get behind this

A post that says “The Rams were LA since the 36. How come y'all never weep over St. Louis' original team, the Cardinals (who were from Racine/Chicago dating back to 1898)?”

Got this response earlier and just rolled my eyes mega hard

Never have I looked at a green bean and thought, “this needs cream of mushroom soup.”

Okay these are my second least favorite

Yes!!!!

I have and it was still just blah :/

Yeah, actually, I would

See, and this is my issue. All mush.

I just polished them today

My kid just asked me if I knew what an emo kid is, and it was a real “I was there when it was written” moment

We gotta figure out how to make money on this. It’s just too good

lol. lmao

My most lukewarm Beatles take is that it’s immediately funny if anyone does a halfway decent Liverpool impression

Yes, absolutely

Why does mashed potatoes get to be an anytime food but it’s weird to eat stuffing in June? These double standards must stop

I'm going to start a social media site but if you ever post The Beatles suck or The Beatles are overrated you'll be banned.