Arencore

I don’t get people who stay at their workplace after their shift is over just to chat. Like, I’m friends with some of my coworkers too. But once my shift ends I’m getting the fuck outta there. We can chat again tomorrow on company time.

“I’m gonna go to Disneyland and be miserable” - Person who loves going to Disneyland for some reason

The masculine urge to pick a direction at random and just walk for hours

It’s weird when there’s a massive piece of your identity that is missing and you know exactly what it is.

There’s a good case to bring back 4:3 aspect ratio

Where do you go when every place is the “I hate it here” place

Just once I want a band to be honest in the marketing for a new album and be like, “Yeah, it’s not our best work.” “It’s going to be like everything you’ve heard before.” “We worked not too hard on it.”

Bring back putting the cause of death on tombstones. Enough of this “Beloved husband and father” bullshit. I wanna see “Drunkenly wrestled a bear and lost” or “Crushed by falling tree”. Bonus points if it rhymes like those tombstones in front of the Haunted Mansion.

The Oscar Mayer Wiener jingle is so depressing.

The kid wants to turn into a hot dog because no one loves him as a human.

How sad. But also, relatable?

Okay, that’s it. I’m going to say it.

The devil had the better fiddle solo.

It’s hilarious to me how obvious it is that Wes Borland is in the wrong band. Man can shred like he’s in Slayer, and wears theatrical makeup or masks like he’s in Mushroomhead, and then chooses to be in Limp Bizkit.

How is it that we can put a man on the moon and clone animals, but we can’t invent an artificial grape flavor?

I was randomly called handsome by an older gentleman like 3 years ago and I’ve been riding that high ever since

I only know the word “rue” because of iCarly

If you remove all the steps from a 12-step program that are essentially just “worship god” then there’s really only 5 steps.

Every time you serve Gordon Ramsay a raw dish, he gains another forehead wrinkle.

How much cock would a cock block block if a cock block could block cock?

I don’t trust people who only set one alarm in the morning

Hardcore vocalists:
This next song is about how we need more love and unity in this world.

Also hardcore vocalists:
When this next song starts I want you to fucking murder the person standing next to you.

Buy yourself some play-doh and mold yourself a bae-doh

A german shepherd is called a shepherd because they herd sheep. A poodle is called a poodle because they poo.

I refuse to see any band that uses the bleeding cowboys font as their band logo out of principle

If my will to live doesn’t arrive in 15 minutes I’m legally allowed to leave

New app idea. It's like uber, but someone comes to your house and just fucking shoots you.

When I watch a meteor shower no one bats an eye. But when I watch my neighbor shower suddenly that’s not okay

I want to turn my life around and start doing God’s work.

And by God’s work I mean give cancer to children.

My biggest pet peeve is people

🎶N is for anywhere and anytime at-🎶

NO SPONGEBOB ANYWHERE STARTS WITH AN A. YOU ARE POISONING THE MINDS OF CHILDREN WITH MISINFORMATION