What’s the difference between spiderwebs and cobwebs?
Turns out most Irish desserts are just other cultures’ desserts with booze in them
He only travels by tunnel
Hate us cuz we’re beautiful but WE DONT LIKE YOU EITHER
This is about me btw
What do yall know about shakin it like a salt shaker?
If they don’t bounce when you run, you aren’t allowed to hit on me.
Sick to death of driving around traffic cones for weeks at a time while absolutely no work is being done in the place they are set up. If a lane is closed, it better be tore the fuck up expeditiously!
Thank god Black Pop Excellence has swooped in to save the vibe
I just wanna choke on it and get Shake Shack
I wanna go to Palm Springs
I bought a new shower head and it feels so luxurious
I’ll beach off with you any day, Ken.
Don’t Parallel Park on Water Street During Rush Hour Challenge 2026
I’m just so sad and tired
Struggling real hard with my best not being enough lately
Booooooo 👎🏼👎🏼
I miss Debbie Reynolds every day
God Save Lina Lamont
I am not watching the Olympics but I am watching Johnny and Tara on Traitors and that is the same to me
It is not working
Don’t snap me on the toilet. I’ll never speak to you again.
Saw a license plate that started with “AZT” on my drive to work and suddenly I was right back in it
Good evening! Fuck AI
I always think I will enjoy cucumber on sandwiches and I am always wrong
It’s been a minute since a celebrity death has really given me pause like this
