"We can always tell" woman fails to identify Chinese Intelligence Asset she married.
Reni this review made me cry laugh
found the person in charge of food delivery substitutions
Oh, the grand old duke of york
He ██████████████████
He ██████████████████
And he ██████████████████
The UK justice system:
that's silly, it's not going to work, trains are too fast for that
Inside you there are two wolves
A lot of stuff has felt difficult it frustrating recently - including my teeth - but I have just booked a dentist appointment at the coveted 2:30 time slot so I'm feeling ok about myself.
My favorite exchange on Twitter in the history of the site
Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again.
#Pinks #ProudBlue
I'm never sure if it's finished or just dried up
I heard there is a funny clown
Who with the circus came to town
What sadness that you have I’m sure he’d cure ya
It goes like this,
You’ll go
You’ll see
But doctor, you’re describing me!
The clown that you prescribe, is Pagliacci!
Pagliacci
Pagliacci
Pagliacci
Pagliacci
A real government would consolidate these emotions by promising to send someone round door to door to let us know when It Happens
I can't trust politicians who are anti-trans. Not because I'm "only searching for perfection" which is what centrists will be accusing me of for the rest of my life, it's because if you're not pro-trans you'll be garbage on lots of other issues too. Being anti-trans NEVER exists in a vacuum.
The Reform pitch is increasingly “the last government was terrible, so we’ve hired everyone who was in it”.
I agree with the sentiment (FIFA are ghouls and national FAs are cowards) but I do think there is a fundamental difference between Qatar and Russia who were seeking to sportswash their human rights abuses, and a situation where a host nation is threatening or at war with the nations it is welcoming
none of them. they all played games on the bones of dead slaves in Qatar, they don’t care. if you’re expecting a show of humanity from international soccer, you’re going to be badly disappointed
Using her queerness to dehumanise her. Fascists.
Very chic to be so candid
Yes I am posting this while crying at his death in The Muppet Christmas Carol
Did the Cratchits not consider that calling their son Tiny Tim might have been nominative determinism and that they brought his fate upon him themselves?
Is this the finale of Jokevent
SCROOGE: you there! what day is today?
BOY: today? it's Christmas Day
SCROOGE: the spirits did it all in one night!
BOY: NINETEEN SEVENTY THREE
[Life on Mars plays, a Ford Cortina suddenly crashes into Scrooge's front room]
GENE HUNT: OI, DI Scrooge, get in, we've got a nonce in Didsbury to bust
We got to the end credits of "Wake Up Dead Man" and my dad said "Daniel Craig?" as if the true mystery the whole time had been "Who is playing the lead role in the third film of this series that I have watched all 3 of? I have also watched one of the films twice."
Woke Santa strikes again
The Road to Hell was one of the first songs I latched onto as a child. Driving Home for Christmas is my favourite Christmas song as an adult. I also maintain they're about the same car journey but that's beside the point. RIP Chris Rea.
executive at The Bird Marketing Board: [seconds after snorting a massive line of coke] OK WHAT IF WE TELL EVERYONE THAT CHRISTMAS IS ACTUALLY TWELVE DAYS LONG AND YOU GOTTA BUY A BIRD FOR EVERY ONE
I'm not saying I'm the best at getting through airport security but I am saying that it never ceases to amaze me how many people make an absolute meal of it.
