Trix

what does it feel like to lose? we just don't know.

Anyway, I have a literary agent now y’all. Do you think there’s an editor who’s ready to lower their standards and propose matrimonial bliss to me, in a god honoring literary way? Only time will tell.

Tee hee blue butterflies tee hee

And not even the fun ‘come my lady come come my lady’ version either jesus christ

Hmm. That just about sums it up huh.

So, uhhhhhhhhhhh… what a fucking week, right?

Me colonizing Mars in the name of goofy goobers:

Maybe I should just go back to self pub and fic again. Publishing is just so demoralizing in every possible way.

Thank you, I feel so seen and validated

I don’t know how to explain to men on Bumble that I want them to pay the same sexual attention to me that the guy from Baumgartner Restorations pays to a damaged 17th century painting.

Ohoho

EHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEH (and the reason I smile fondly at gin too)

Yes many people have had an impact on my life, especially the person who wrote the fic that makes me laugh every time I listen to the Tarzan soundtrack because of their sheer unmitigated AU prowess ❤️

Kiddo is refusing to do his homework until he teaches himself the entirety of Alice Deejay’s ‘Better off Alone’ by ear so that’s how my night is going

What’s your sign?

Girls don’t want boys they want to hit the unfaithful guy who broke Mermaid Sadé’s heart in her No Ordinary Love video with a truck

No I don’t know what I did to deserve this Reylo coded behavior but I’m definitely not complaining

Sounds like those targeted ads are working then 😂

Does the space weiner materialize with a residual transporter glitter too

Man kissed me on the cheek in the middle of doing the most unspeakable things to me and when I tell you I swooned

Also I love the fuckin squid dogs but was anyone else thinking all they needed to defeat them was a white woman with a “who rescued who?” bumper sticker and no caution or sense?

I feel like the Tamarians would’ve really loved the loss meme

God god, Candela Obscura 2 is even more pants-shittingly awesome than the first one is!!! I love all my children: Dr. Gorgeous, Aunt Cat Lady, 2 Solder Boys Who Should Kiss, and also Travis Is Going Through It.

I’m at the point in my life where I still crave a deep trusting love like the old couples who still cherish each other, but I want it in the way I want a perfectly clean house I see staged for Instagram; does that love really exist? Probably not. Oh well.

Gross. Can I fight them

Step four: Just be honest. If you’re 28 and into older milfs, go for it! If you’re into women who love your dog as much as you do, be upfront about it! Don’t water yourself down to quippy fake bullshit.

Step three: Don’t write “the way to a man’s heart is through his rib cage” ha ha we’ve never seen THAT one before! Listen, we want to like you, maybe even love you one day. Don’t be afraid of doing some introspection and showing personality.

Step two: Put up more than one pic and try not to look like an unwashed serial killer!! Smile!!!!! Look like the kind of pleasant person someone would be curious to get to know! For the love of god just ask a friend you trust to take some good snaps.

There are five things you can do right now, lads, that will 100% change the experience you have on dating apps. Step one: Fill out your fucking bio with SOMETHING. Better yet, make it interesting and honest. Please!!

Men sure love to piss and moan about women not giving them the attention they think they deserve on dating apps and then they’re out there serving unwashed dumbass with no bio and one photo on Bumble! Make it make sense!!