Bodega Monsters, Inc.

No-one likes to hear it, but the verb is donate and the noun is actually donathan.

You’re after WhoorGash.

Come again?

Is it a new bug?

Am I your mum’s dentist, because I’m constantly giving her a filling.

Australian Colonel Jessep: SHEILA, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE STREWTH!

I thought it was just the Kiwi accent that did that.

This intervention could’ve been a Minecraft server.

Cloaca Koala: Life Tastes Good.

You should’ve said “these are the only times you’ll be inside somewhere with a woman’s name who wasn’t your mother”.

Yes, but converted from the fraction.

I’m imagining a horny dyslexic person ordering tickets for Torn: Arse online and being madly disappointed once it’s over.

I will admit that Red Lenses is a big ol’ skip, though. Just can’t get into that one at all.

Currently drinking out of my stein that I made from the parts of other broken steins. If only there was a good word to call it.

Drop the tier list.

And here I am, dunking my ass into the toilet like a peasant.

I only discovered Rush this year. They’re so good. I honestly listen to Grace Under Pressure nearly every day now.

Currently shorting his mindshares.

If you don’t want to embarrassingly say that your cooking ability is just average, instead state you make a mean (whatever) and you won’t be lying.

Wow, this looks like it’ll be so much comfier than me snuggled up with my PS2 at night.

I’ve had enough of eating baked goods my entire life. Time to bring out the baked bads.

When is she announcing The Life of a Showgirl (Actually Good Version)?

Maybe Batman and Robin weren’t quite a good duo after all.

Tinder message: Why are you posing with a freshly caught fish in all of your photos?

Me: Sorry. Those are plaiceholders. I’ll change them soon.

A disgustingly good idea just came to my mind: Nine Inch Nails covering Rock DJ.

If I said you had a grudge, would you hold it against me?

A photograph of Noo Noo from The Teletubbies. A sentient vacuum cleaner with a hose as a mouth/cleaning device and big white eyes. It’s usually a blue machine but in this image it’s in three colours: orange at the top third, then pink and at the bottom yellow.

This machine kills fascists.

28 Lays Later. The Peg. TIT. The Cumjuring. I Swallow On Your Grave. The Sexorcist. Vaginal Destination.

Huh? Must’ve been the wind.

Government shutdown? They should government shutup.