Bodega, Inc.

All dictionaries are made up.

It takes an arsonist to raze a village.

What’s UpRug?

Hit that like button. Punch him. Show no mercy. I want to see blood. I’ll provide an alibi, don’t worry. Be cool about it. Not gonna be a nark, are you? We’re both in this together. You know that. Oh, stop crying. He didn’t even have that many children.

“Shoot for the moon!”

Good advice in general and in the bedroom.

Poor Owl City.

Neil Young? No he isn’t!!!

I now pronounce you hubris and wiferis.

YouTube video by TheUmBongo Um Bongo Orginal Advert

If he was the Umbongo, bringing the explosive taste of the congo, then everyone would’ve loved him or at least heard him out.

youtu.be/wYj5o4kQsXs

In France, they call girl problems legal issues.

If you have kidney stones there’s a chance of a Crunchy Nut.

Ugh, why do I only pick up cops on the ham radio?

If thinking outside of the box is so good, then why does Solid Snake keep winning?

I thought this odourless knockout gas was a good idea, but after experimenting with it, it sadly makes no scents.

Borderline Inappropriate: my brand new book about countries fighting and arguing over their sizes.

He likes to put his hand in the middle of the love making, so his holy hole can be used.

I hate people that only care about themselves; I’m allergic to selfish.

If it’s wrong to be right, then they should really change the definition of stuff because that is hella confusing.

I came, I saw,

Keanu Reeves was born on a Wednesday. That means Wednesday’s child was actually full of woah.

March against fascism? I think all of the months should be against fascism.

Inspiring: Anyone can be a Florida man, regardless of nationality.

Goatse.

A train needs meticulously laid metal railing to be able to travel effectively? Yeah, that tracks.

I’m gonna corn, I’m gonna corn.

A rosacea by any other name would suck just as much ass.

Technically, you were the patient.

Accidentally bought a bottle of laundry deterrent and now I have no clothes.

How about LPebophilia?

Time for there to be a band from Central Europe called Scaffold that includes heavy metal Poles in the group.