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Had a dream that somebody took over this account and was selling screenshots of my feet. If anybody’s gonna be making money off my feet, it’s gonna be me!

“The balance just needs to be respected”

“SO RESPECT IT”

Avocados are so complicated bc if you buy a bag, you have to include an avocado in every meal that week or they go bad. If you only buy 2, you wish you bought more. Always something with them

The NyQuil has been taken. Goodbye cruel world

Serena ain’t got no mf shame. Tired of her ass #gossipgirl

Dan and Vanessa?? FINALLY

My phone ain’t never been this pressed about an update. I’ll be holding out a little while longer just for the harassment

I need the hottest most ridiculous bowl of pho when I get home

If I had $1 for every time “please stfu” crossed my mind… I could buy twitter back from Elon Musky country ass

This lady husband so musty. So offensively musty and what’s horrible is I’m lookin at her crazier than him. Like you be laying up under that??

Okay fr what’s your fav lip balm? Regular degular Vaseline and Naturium are my jams but I wanna try something new

Coffee makes me feel super alert and anxious. I hardly drink it anyway, but idk how ppl do it when sick or hungover. I don’t wanna be alert lol

I look really cute today

A meme shows the Mona Lisa holding a screaming Moo Deng

Felt cute

Lol okay fair

Lady 1: “I love your shoes”
Lady 2: “thank you. I love them too. They go with everything”
Me: “but do they? 😕”

Gochujang does that for you? It’s really sweet to me

Wouldn’t say all that but it’s pretty cool

Every time I hear DJ! KHALED! I am morally obligated to mutter "Doesn't go down on his wife" no matter where I am or who's around me.

As you can imagine, my teenagers are thrilled every time this happens.

Its not a true stretch if you don’t vibrate

music.apple.com/us/album/spi...

Built my twitter brick by brick. It’s a little dry on this side right now 🥲

Food took dumb long and was mid. Why me?

Jesus was at Walgreen’s again.

Same 🔥

Y’all wanna see an old man in a onesie?

Tearing up a bit. You’re a great human

I was in rage thinking “please just walk out of the door. That’s it”

poetry is
for everyone
do not gatekeep
your words
set them free
without rules
limits
syllables
punctuation