Defy

Always gotta do your best to help them get from one more slice to one more order. Then to doubling that order. Then to ordering the party platter. Then to ordering a full catering setup.

Weight in the 4 digits still great? Yep
Weight in the 5 digits even better? Of course

Are they still thunder thighs if you have become so massively obese there is 0 chance you could ever really keep them from touching no matter how much you tried?

Your phone? Last time I saw it, it was on your left side, third love handle down. Did it get lost in your folds again when you were reaching for another donut? Yeah yeah I'll go find it.

Every year is set a budget for these things, then immediately go over said budget by the time I leave the expo hall

Listen it's not my fault you're too damn fat to get off the couch...okay maybe I'm partially to blame...but don't act like we both don't enjoy it

I didn't come all this way for you to NOT finish your 5th pizza. Besides, there's more on the way!