surah.

On the presidential interview, they just asked the Heather Humphries "if you are president, where would the presidential toaster be held?".... and she said "In the press" 😂😂 best question ever

There are some bloody tunes in The House of Guinness.

My dogs been prescribed antidepressants. Is it that bad living with me?

I am quite literally only home from my holidays and I need another one. Everybody is annoying me and I want to be alone.

My exs daughter said she didn't like leopard print, that's when I should have known it was doomed.

I just want to be asleep.

She is gross and pale.

It's a complicated intersection, wanting to find the right person but also not being sure the right person exists for you, and if they do, convinced they wouldn't find anything to like about you anyway but also not wanting to settle for anything less. Maybe Emin had the right idea marrying a rock.

I hope a whale ate him and shit him out and then ate him again.

I've been in long term, serious relationships living with my partner and I've never ever changed my emergency contact from my mother. I honestly think even if I'm married she'll still be my emergency contact.

Convinced myself on holidays that I had a cold sore. Despite not getting them and having active mouth ulcers. So I went to the pharmacy for cream and they gave me "oral herp" and it tastes lovely and is lovely on my lips. But it's awful looking so need to figure out how to get the name off of it

I've also had two dreams about being pregnant despite it being physically impossible but it's giving me the fear

Guess I miss Scotland?

Photo and he remembered me? He gave me a hug and a signed celtic jersey and then a bunch of my uni pals arrived and I woke up and I don't know what the hell that was.

"It's not a real Tesco" and we had to leave. We went outside and I decided I needed to pee so tried to get back in but there was queues now and they all went back to the car and I was trying to get in and Johnny Sexton was in the queue in a Celtic jersey and I worked up the courage to ask for a

I had a dream where I was with my boyfriend to go to big Tesco and then his Dad was there too. My boyfriend jumped out of the car in the car park to meet one of his friends and then when we were walking into big Tesco he had two or three other people with him. When I finally got in they said...

"Did you hear a big bang?" "No, why?" "I just fell off the chair" "What were you doing on a chair?" "I was sitting on it" "Well that's fucking stupid". Ummm?

Me too!! Just!

I need a holiday from getting ready for my holiday

Iris did not deserve that.

And hate Jamie.

By God I love Beth Dutton.

I am so glad I waited until all episodes of Yellowstone were out before watching it. I couldn't cope otherwise.

This is giving Amber Herd v Depp.

#MarilynMansonUnmasked is triggering and eye opening.

Hot whiskey to help me sleep.

Wtf is wrong with Iris.

Mayor of Kingstown is very very triggering.