J🌲K E (@guess-what) — Bluesky Profile

5 days ago

Aesop’s Stables: Lopsided Animal Racing

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5 days ago

why did we even domesticate peeves

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1 week ago

BACH: *on hold* this is my song

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2 weeks ago

Hail Santa!

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1 month ago

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1 month ago

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1 month ago

An illustration of a small patch of violets, with a poem above them in cursive writing: "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually they are purple, like a violet, purple"

An illustration of a small patch of violets in the style of cross-stitch, with a poem above them in cursive writing: "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually they are purple, like a violet, purple"

My brother @guess-what.bsky.social wrote this poem years ago. Happy Valen-times

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1 month ago

WATCHED POT [magician]: Okay wait don’t look

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1 month ago

[super bowl party]

ME: *whispers* the plural is feetball

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1 month ago

A two-panel Little Bubbie Child comic. Top panel is the little bubbie child asking, "Dad, hwat was it like a livin' in the 90s?" Bottom panel is dad responding, "Sometimes you'd open a can a peanuts and they'd come snakes outta there."

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1 month ago

[restaurant]

WAITRESS [grammar teacher]: I don’t know, CAN you order the surf and turf

ME [poor]: probably not no

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1 month ago

ME: [cleaning, wishing I were a house] always a housemaid, never a house

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1 month ago

I may be biased but [invalid biased statement]

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2 months ago

ME [married a knife]: Happy wife, happy knife!

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1 year ago

Bicycles chained next to a small ramp sloping downwards near a river in a city. The red-ringed warning sign at the top of the ramp shows a cyclist whose bike is hitting a surprised man wearing a top hat and brandishing an umbrella. The man has lost control of his dog's leash and the dog also looks alarmed

This sign looks like it was created in response to a very specific incident

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2 months ago

MAGICIAN [networking]: Is ~this~ my card?

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2 months ago

THE GODFATHER [homeowner]: You come to me on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding, to ask me if I have a minute to talk about solar energy

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2 months ago

to errand is adult

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2 months ago

New year new me, so please listen carefully as our menu options have changed.

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2 months ago

ᶦⁿ ʳᵃʳᵉ ᶜᵃˢᵉˢ ᵖʳᵒˡᵒⁿᵍᵉᵈ ᵇᶦᵗˢ ʰᵃᵛᵉ
ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ʳᵉᵖᵒʳᵗᵉᵈ ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵉˣᵖᵉʳᶦᵉⁿᶜᵉ
ᵃ ᵇᶦᵗ ˡᵃˢᵗᶦⁿᵍ ˡᵒⁿᵍᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ¹ ᵖᵒˢᵗ
ˢᵉᵉᵏ ᶦᵐᵐᵉᵈᶦᵃᵗᵉ ᵐᵉᵈᶦᶜᵃˡ ᵃᵗᵗᵉⁿᵗᶦᵒⁿ

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2 months ago

My posts do not represent the views of my employer. The pants I'm wearing right now don't represent my employer's fashion sense. What I just ate for dinner doesn't represent my employer's culinary preferences. You can just go ahead and assume that my employer and I are two different people entirely.

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2 months ago

BOUNCER: *checks ID* oh hey happy birthday

ME: Thanks man, you too-

BOUNCER:

ME:

BOUNCER: *eyes welling up* you remembered

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2 months ago

The 90’s was just sharpening pencils and clapping out erasers until they gave us our gameboys back.

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2 months ago

Our animal psychologist recently admitted he’s just making stuff up.

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2 months ago

citizen app push notis continue to amaze

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2 months ago

Well, my other boyfriend likes it when I gaslight him.

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2 months ago

"I was on the debate team in high school."

"No you weren't."

"OK you got me."

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2 months ago

apparently they kicked me out of philosophy class, i didn’t ask why

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2 months ago

death: thy time is nigh

me: im gonna get
a second opinion

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2 months ago

Wouldn't hurt a fly is a pretty serial killer way to describe being harmless.

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