Cactus

You’re telling me this guy was on drugs? I’m not buying it.

Today we celebrate Him

I ate far too much cheese today and now I feel like I'm gonna die

Things that could fix me right now

- kissing women
- a tattoo
- a piercing
- the appearance of a substantial amount of money in my bank account
- the fall of the American government
- fangs

Me talking to my non-binary friends now like

I refuse to believe any plant based discovery was made AD unless that plant came to exist AD you just can't make me believe otherwise.

I know I haven't found true love because no one is batch making me ramen eggs

you gotta appreciate sonic’s commitment to if you complete all the stories and collect all the emeralds then you can unlock the worst final boss ever designed

Spent Thanksgiving arguing with my cousin about how Heimerdinger is actually the worst character in Arcane because he represents every geriatric politician that is excused for their inaction in an oppressive system because they're "old"

jigsaw voice saying "would you like to play a game" except it's figuring out logistics for thanksgiving and the holidays

I'm just feeling a lot of that *gesturing around vaguely* y'know?

glad to be here!

"I'm gonna move everything in this new super helpful organizational method!"- me, in the throes of a cleaning stint, knowing damn well every time I do this I can't find shit the day after 🤡🤡🤡