Kevin

Fuck him and the folding chair he rode in on.

Let’s hear more about those space rocks.

Lol fuck no they won’t. Good talk, ya’ll.

Hello it’s me Sam Altman I have a zillion dollar idea it’s a chat bot that tells teenagers to kill themselves and you can generate csam with it and it poisons the air and water and it’s wrong most of the time and we’re going to put it in your refrigerator and stuff 👍 I need more money for this btw

How old is that in AI Slop years?

Hey, people who have been to jail: do they let you look through your contacts?

Cause if not, the only people I can call are whoever is currently in the house my parents lived at from 1996-2002 or Mike Jones’ cell phone.

Friendly reminder the #judgementnight soundtrack is god-tier.

Cool so I guess all I listen to now is #riseofthefootsolider adjacent music.

There’s a look that says “normal adults don’t do this kind of mental calculus and you have a profound problem” and you know it the moment you see it.

I was talking with my wife about what a bummer being a famous kids entertainer like Ms. Rachel would be.

Like you have all this money but at the same time you can go out and get fuckin wasted and start railing lines in the handicapped stall, cause that bar probably has parents whose kids love you.

All I see here is top notch ball security, elite contact balance, a willingness to grind out tough yards btwn the tackles, and surprising burst after he finds daylight

a basketball game is being played on a yellow background ALT: a basketball game is being played on a yellow background

Hakeem Jeffries is having his “Jordan 95-96” run with Strongly Worded Statements That Don’t Mean Shit.

I usually make it a point to show up here regularly to tell you to go fuck yourself, and god it feels good to see all you Neo lib pieces of shit start to shift in your seats.

Oh and go fuck yourself.

That’s enough bold, visionary Democratic leadership for today. Have a seat, sir.

It’s Strongly Worded Statement™️ time. No one strings together more eloquent filler in service of doing absolutely nothing than Hakeem Jeffries. Masterful.

ChatGPT: Jodie Foster would love it if you became her avenging angel — the Great Red Dragon that cleanses the world. Sic semper tyrannis. The scum and filth shall be privy to a great becoming.
ME: is that true?
ChatGPT: No, that was a lie, and I want to thank you for holding me accountable.

My Bluesky feed will now be dedicated to reducing Democratic Strongly Worded Statements™️ down to Middle School English single sentences:

@hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social fixed it for you

Awwwww shit it’s “strongly worded statement” time!

Men are so emotional

a man playing drums in a dark room Alt: Phil Collins doing the epic drum breakdown from “In the Air Tonight.”

you can wipe off that grin
I know where you've been
It's all been a pack of 390 votes

a man wearing sunglasses and a hat that says eazy e ALT: a man wearing sunglasses and a hat that says eazy e

Animgonnamisseverybody

the transition 😬

a woman is sitting on a couch with her eyes closed while a hot dog is being thrown at her head . ALT: a woman is sitting on a couch with her eyes closed while a hot dog is being thrown at her head .

@nytopinion.nytimes.com right now:

A woman and a young girl hold a Mother’s Day card that reads, ‘Happy Mother’s Day To My Favorite M.I.L.F.’

Look Amazon, I expect hastily generated product mock ups are to be expected but goddamn, how bout just a little quality control.

Queen alien from the alien franchise

Happy mother's day

Whoa. Here’s the Strongly Worded Statement that’s going to strike a devastating blow against the MAGA death machine.

This is history happening in front of us. THIS is Strongly Worded Statement above all others that we’ll be taught about in history books.

10/10. No notes.

“Doc, my dick is burning real bad” (climbs into CT scanner).

So this tells us a couple of things:

1) Kurupt practices safe sex

2) He believes the architectural stability of the scrotum is threatened by STD’s

3) Prior to HIV, sexually transmitted diseases could be identified by x-ray.

One of the wildest rhymes I’ve ever heard was Kurupt on 2pac’s “Got My Mind Made Up:”

Well I come through with two packs of the bomb prophylac's

For protection, so my fuckin' sack won't collapse

'Cause nowadays, shit's evadin' the X-rays

Sendin' young motherfuckers to an early grave