Courtney Birnbaum

ok what if it was MATCHING tattoos?

03.12.2024 06:34 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Writers: yes, you are still a "real" writer if you
- have never published anything
- have no readers
- didn't write anything this month
- didn't write anything this year
- can't articulate words anymore
- can only float and mournfully wail
- were murdered ten years ago on this very spot

02.12.2024 19:59 — 👍 19766    🔁 3248    💬 408    📌 162

Me with a Garbodor (pokemon) garbage bin in Ikebukuro

this is the only time I'll pose with a garbage bin

03.12.2024 04:24 — 👍 174    🔁 3    💬 1    📌 0

They should make "what it feels like to chew five gum" commercials except instead of cool flavors they have new flavors like insomnia where the what it feels like is every time you get close to sleep someone punches you in the face. Or the aging flavor, where it makes your back hurt.

01.12.2024 05:36 — 👍 1    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

Cannot accept the cat distribution system has not distributed ME a cat yet

25.11.2024 22:04 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

What a thanksgiving, am I right?
“Lemon, it’s Monday.” 🫣

25.11.2024 22:03 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Wait the old OLD Lightyear cereal from my childhood slaps so I’m actually sad I missed this one.

11.10.2024 03:30 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

My tri color corgi Tibbs leans over the blonde corgi Tulip so I can pet him while he models orange butterfly wings on his back.

My blonde corgi Tulip models the butterfly wings now.

Who wore it best? Corgi Halloween costumes are in progress.

11.10.2024 03:29 — 👍 5    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

A’ja Wilson!!!!!! MVP of the WNBA and basketball 💖💕🩷🫡

22.09.2024 17:14 — 👍 4    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0