James Oswald

Two scientists walk through a cluttered old-fashioned science laboratory. The female scientist says “Analogue instruments! Paper records! Chalk boards! I thought you'd agreed to modernise the laboratory?” The male scientist replies “That's what i'm so excited about: we have moved to cloud-based storage for our data!” They step out onto a balcony. She says: “Please tell me you haven't built a library zeppelin” This is exactly what he has done. It floats across the sky and he adds “It's got a fax machine!”

My cartoon for this week’s @newscientist.com

What makes you think there was a plan for any of it?

'Yer da shouts at hotels' is truly the insult for these times.

Oh, and there was this too. #TheViolentHour

Watched the first one and really enjoyed it, but damn, do I look that old too?

There's a brilliant parody of movie trailers somewhere on here. Once you've seen it you can never take them seriously anymore.

Had to double check which picture that was a response to…

Wondering which movie trailer they've nicked that soundtrack from now.

Yellow dog lies downside up on the sofa, legs akimbo and plums on full display. Shameless.

Strike the pose!

Thanks. I'm very pleased with it.

There's even a link tree if you're interested in that sort of thing. linktr.ee/ViolentHour

Oh, and there was this too. #TheViolentHour

It's a weird tightrope these grifters tread, simultaneously making claims like this to make us believe the machine is sentient, while hoping we won't be so alarmed at its anxiety that we make laws to switch it off.

They have a surprising amount in common, especially when it comes to scritches.

What an excellent cover!

Her name's Lucy, and she loves a good scritch under the chin.

Ginger Highland cow sticking her tongue out and going prrrp.

Best of luck! I don't much believe in gods and goddesses, but here's a cow of good fortune for you instead.

Look, the BBC's Charter Renewal consultation closes on Tuesday. It's got some bastard tricky questions but you don't have to answer them all, and if you're not a stupid right-wing cunt there's some very handy advice from the British Broadcasting Challenge.

Links to follow 1/2

It's not half bad around here when the rain stops!

Rough ground and gorse bushes under an almost cloudless blue sky. Red quad bike in the foreground, and lots of beige tree guard tubes standing all around.

Glorious morning so we managed to plant 50 gean trees on the back of the hill. Project Cover Everything In Trees coming along nicely.

I imagine there will be a lot of panicked ministers right now wondering how to appease their big tech lobbyist friends.

I guess now we'll see just how much of its soul the Labour party has sold to big tech.

Thank you!

Dammit. Is nowhere safe?

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. But you can’t pick your friend’s nose!

Got that. Thanks. Interesting points, I will respond to when I have a chance!

Women: We live in a constant state of vigilance because men pose a constant threat to us, here are literally millions of corroborating stories.

Men: What a scary time for men this is.

I read one breakdown of it that suggested Bozos would still have a couple of hundred billion left, so no. Not really soaked at all.

Not my best. The sponge is a bit dry and it didn't rise as well as I'd have liked. It's tasty enough though and I'm still going to eat it!

Feeling smug that I cashed in my Brewdog shares the last time it was possible to do so. It was already an awful company by then, so today's news doesn't surprise me. I'm angry for the workforce though, sad for what could have been a great brewery still were its boss not such an utter twat.