James Oswald

Yellow dog’s head as he lies downside up on the sofa. He has too much skin and it has all rucked up into furry wrinkles around his eyes and forehead.

Wrinkles

Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid, obvs.

If he hates the job so much, why doesn’t he just quit?

That’s assuming they don’t cancel them.

Exactly.

Not going, either. I can’t be having someone else taking up my account. Let it sit unused until the place dies.

Maybe another half hour?

Learning words from reading is such fun. For years growing up, I was convinced that misled was pronounced mizzled; frankly disappointed when I finally learned it wasn't. Very pleased today to see something with MISLED written in all caps and immediately read it the correct, youthful me way.

How dare you stop!

Gentle reminder that you don't have to fully boycott Amazon, just stop making it your default. Need socks? Lots of places sell socks. Need printer paper? Need rye flour? Many other options.

"This startup only sells through Amazon!"

Okay, buy that but don't buy the sneakers and coffee beans.

if you expect a quick end to the iranian regime just because its leadership was decapitated you may be disappointed. like imagine if the situation were reversed and america's supreme leader and defense secretary had been killed. that's right, go ahead, imagine it. think about it all day if you like.

Logged in to the bad place to check whether anyone had tried to get in touch there. I do it on the first of each month, check only notifications and messages. None of the latter, but one hopeful book marketer has followed me, despite my pinned tweet saying I'm gone being over a year old now.

YouTube video by Comedy Central Latinoamérica Lip Sync Battle - Tom Holland

It has come to my attention that some of you have never seen Tom Holland's "Umbrella" on Lip Sync Battle.

The world's a dumpster fire so here, feel 2.5 minutes of joy:

youtu.be/jPCJIB1f7jk?...

When the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything starts to look like a nail. When you spend a trillion dollars a year on your military, well...

I imagine the mole didn’t much like it either. Also, they say autism is a modern thing…

How Much I Dislike the Daily Mail    I would rather  eat Quavers that are six weeks stale,  blow dry the man bun of Gareth Bale,  listen to the songs of Jimmy Nail,  than read one page of the Daily Mail.    If I was bored  in a waiting room in Perivale,  on a twelve-hour trip on Network Rail,  halfway through a circumnavigational sail,  I would not read the Daily Mail.    I would happily read  the autobiography of Dan Quayle,  1001 Things You Can Do With Kale,  selected scripts from Emmerdale, if it meant I didn’t have to read the Daily Mail.    Far better to  stand outside in a storm of hail,  scratch a blackboard with a fingernail,  be swallowed by a humpback whale,  than have to read the Daily Mail.    If I was blind   and it was the only thing in Braille,  I still would not read the Daily Mail.    Brian Bilston 

Today’s poem is called ‘How Much I Dislike the Daily Mail’.

The acts of defiance can be big or small. Painting over a bigoted piece of graffiti. Running a youth club for refugees in an area that mostly loathes them. Wearing a rainbow flag in an anti-queer neighbourhood.
These acts all accumulate towards something better, I have seen that in action.

Starting to think there should be a worldwide ban on anyone* over the age of 70 being being allowed to run a country, they seem very unstable

*men

Ooh, now there's an idea!

Tea!

I'll not complain if they do it sooner than that.

I've found this really frustrating. I send one newsletter a month at most, but all the services out there seem to be geared up for daily mailshots or more. As soon as you have more than 1k subscribers it's too expensive. There's nothing out there for us irregular newsletter writers.

Thank you! I do occasionally get reviews along the lines of 'he obviously wrote himself into a corner so decided to throw a ghost in to explain the plot hole', as if that's how books are written.

The world could be such a nice place if we allowed it. It's all so goddamn unnecessary. There's no need for any of it. It's so beautiful here. It should be so cool to be alive

Two scientists look at a monitor attached to a large apparatus consisting of pipes, tanks, vessels and hoses. The first scientist says "I don't get it. The reaction is running perfectly, but we can't account for 7% of the heat." The other says "Have you Asked the Professor?" The first replies "We're not supposed To disturb him when He's in his office." On the other side of the apparatus, one of the pipes goes through a wall into another room where it warms the water for a hot tub in which the professor relaxes.

My cartoon for this week’s @newscientist.com

I honestly wish there was a way to mute images that don't have alt text. How are you a journalist and not using alt text. It's absurd.

*eyes conversation nervously*

Green and stripey cat sits in an open doorway with a mournful expression that speaks of cruel starvation and the indignity of having to share her space with dogs.

Will I ever be fed again? #caturday

Unsolicited writing advice, no. 181015:
If you're feeling creatively exhausted, then fill your tank with creative things. Read books. Watch films. See plays. Listen to music. Look at art. Remind yourself what creativity means to you.