Rob

Hah

Don’t know what the fireworks are about.

Exactly.

I wish I was an intellectual. I wouldn’t be worrying about this at all. I’d be listening to Radio 3 with my eyes closed.

Maybe they need breaking.

Collected the new glasses again, different lenses. One pair I can see better than the other in, but neither pair as well as my old pair that have been broken for two years.

The real price is standing over the sink with soggy paper up your thumbnails

They said it’s going to be warm the last couple of days, sunny even. Thankfully I’m hardy.

I don’t mind the chill one bit, but it’s important for jackets. What I could really do with is a jacket forecast.

I’d like a word with the weather forecasters. That word is: wrong.

It’s probably best not to post me from any era. The current era is especially worse for wear.

Strands of roots

Some sort of hook thing

Small flower bud

Thorns

Old photography project. The goal was to make normal plant parts look somehow sinister.

Morrisons have stopped joining their 30l tie kitchen bin bags, they’re not perforated any more, just cleverly overlapped in a roll so you can easily pull one out to use.
This is a bigger human technological achievement than men walking on the moon but no one is talking about it.

Wood pigeons: one asthmatic, one surprised.

Bins in different colours, red brick wall, tree and its leaves that are red and orange on the ground.

The bins are changing colour.

Broke both my ankles.

I can do this. I did this during a dispute with a neighbour over on street parking.

Hand, foot and mouth disease, but don’t worry, it usually gets better by itself in 7-10 days.

Sorry. I don’t make the rules, it’s the devolved NHS.

Quinsy. Also known as tonsillitis. You should probably stock up on ice cream.

Q fever. A bacterial infection you can catch from infected farm animals such as sheep, cattle and goats. It's usually harmless, but it can cause serious problems in some people.

Zika virus, you might’ve missed it. That’s what you won.

It can be transmitted from mosquitoes AND by having sex with someone that has it, which is generous.

Zika virus. You should be okay.

Very memorable. Exquisite ingredients. When eating small fish, I seemed to imagine that I was a polar bear eating fish on the glacier.

The most beautiful google review I’ve ever read. They should delete all the other ones

I don’t mind but it’s difficult to choose the right coat.

It was meant to be sunny, and relatively warm here this afternoon. Wasn’t really.

Does protect your eyes from squirts.

Hah yes. I didn’t rate that either.

The trailer was good. That always gets me when the trailer is alright.