NickNackPaddyWhack

Flying saucers now emitting jaunty tunes to not be mistaken for an electric car, it's jalopy ironic adjacent

Every morning "So what do you want out of today" just to feel okay sometimes, for having my eyes open "When do we want it? Now" no this isn't one of those "Great because now is only when you blink" it's a waking dream is it "Yep" okay cool

🚨 THREE A.M. EMERGENCY TURKEY SANDWICH ALERT! IF YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS ALERT OBTAIN THE NEAREST TURKEY SANDWICH AND SHOVE IT IN YOUR FACE 🚨

Anna Ancher

Eric Bowman

Happy Thanksgiving. 🍁

My daughter has been in the professional world about a year and a half and I was talking to her about how her job is going. She told me she never knew anyone named Brian before and now she knows 8 people named Brian and 2 people named Doug.

Time resists being killed.
Spend it. Share it. Savor it.
But don't kill it.
You'll thank me someday.

Lilla Cabot Perry

Finally just going to do the account I've always wanted, recipes for dodos where you lick various spices and sauces off of them in a slow chasing style. I suppose it could work with current escargots

A bumblebee and a honeybee collecting pollen on a dahlia

My type of Saturday sports viewing. "Which bee will be the champion in pollen collecting today? Wait a minute...they're sharing and... it's not about winning at all, guys. Awwww. 😍"

[The bees hand me a jar of fresh honey after the collecting is done]

Many years ago having wine in Prague. They counted how many pretzels you ate…

WILL BATTEN DOWN YOUR HATCHES FOR SOUP

Closeup of oak leaves just starting to turn autumnal colors

The blue sky, the sun, the clouds

Tree leaning over the Sacramento River, Redding, California

Another river shot with some gorgeous puffy clouds

Long walk. I have no clue how far I walked, but judging the tension in my Achilles tendons and calves, I’d say in the 4-mile range. Friggin’ gorgeous day. See?

Your chances of being Bret Easton Ellis are low but never less than zero

Of course there’s no such thing as burrito juice. On the other hand, when I tell you that I got burrito juice all over my shirt, you know exactly what I mean. That’s language for you.

Yeah, you're still a party animal if you sometimes want to be in bed by ten on a Saturday. Like a sloth or koala, but an animal.

So much was going on that the killer ended up getting away from the sheet absurdity of it all. It's always disappointing when an ending is nought, but at least a classic has been checked

Played Milliner in public today

People say mucking foron like it's not how you harvest some extremely rare element from a swamp

She’s a most powerful witch.

I was chaotic for a bit. It’s overrated.

Carl Bretzke

Really, Gary needed to win the lotto just so this bougie-ass allergy-riddled bulldog-mutt thing could have the best puréed breakfast ever.

The picture I saw in the picture doesn't look like the picture I ordered. You bet I complained! They told me the picture I have is indeed the picture in the picture. Words were exchanged, most of them were the word "picture". Then they told me I'm seeing things. I said duh, that how seeing works.

Out for sunrise pictures and the earth rotates slower than you'd expect

That moment I temporarily stop inhabiting my body so that I can pronounce the word corroboration.

I will convince a picky eater to try my puttanesca. Anything that basically translates to whore’s spaghetti should put some hair on their chest.

Gotta baby carrier for my beardie that’s strapped to me & now laundry is much more enjoyable. I snuggle the warm towels & blankies from the dryer against him like awwww do you like that baby & he does