NickNackPaddyWhack

Couch dog giving me the stink eye

Couch dog at rest

“Look,” he said, “platitudes don’t put kibble in anyone’s bowl, but you must understand that even though bad guys may win a few battles, they never, ever win the war. Now go do stupid human stuff – I’m dreaming about rabbits.”

(putting pants on the baby because I'm cold)

MOM, STEPHEN STUCK HIS FINGER IN THE GHOST AGAIN.

made a sauce with garlic and herbs I grew myself (and some pepper I wrestled away from a waiter)

bee on a sunflower

🌻🐝🖤

He died doing what he loved: trying to perfect the sneeze-burp-hiccup.

Dropping money in coffee cans for anything people leave on a table by their gravel driveway...fruit, vegetables, bread, eggs, wood, bodies, flowers, honey, pie. Whatever's there, really.

Getting my head stuck in the dryer just to feel something

I type all of my skeets using just my pointer finger like a good little elder millennial

There was a full moon last night? I didn't feel any different. Strange.

[Turns head and coughs up a hairball and picks at some gristle in my teeth with my longer than normal nails]

Knees? To be quite honest I prefer the thighs of a bee

Sunset over the water

Going down sunny side up

I believe this deer thinks I'm walking a baby deer and/or he is very confused by the blobby star mass appearing on the trail before him.

Morning baby and mom

What the fuck is going on with you today?

-me to my eyebrows, everyday

My downstairs neighbor’s cough is my constant companion

Empty dirt road lined by trees

I'm in a country song. Stop me if you've heard this one before.

Middle-age women with large purses probably have that thing you like in there, like a battle axe or a huge turkey leg, maybe some mead.

While you’re having noble and productive thoughts, there’s an old goat sitting on a 3-legged stool playing The Wheels On The Bus on a scratchy fiddle inside my head

Vytautas Laisonas - A Shallow Stream

Yesterday, after I joylessly popped a box of bubble wrap, 10 yr-old me rolled up in his sweet 5-speed Schwinn Stingray and kicked me square in the jimmies

White tailed deer buck with velvety antlers surprised to see me even though he already saw me bring the corn out

Good morning!

The details were fuzzy so they didn't get anyone too far but the general drift of the atmosphere was like, we'll figure this out you know, play the theme from unsolved vibrations on the singing bowl again

The promo for the cable movie was Come on, you’re home anyway. What else are you doing? 

When I was little, I had a child size desk and chair in my dad's big office. He'd look over and tell me I'm going to take over the company one day. Forty years later, Dad says it's time for me to get a bigger desk and chair.

Dreams are realized when the frequencies of blue and red align to make a harmony worthy of a noble rainfall. Too many missions have been failed and we'll have to watch the men perish once again

I watched one and a half seasons of Law and Order, so yeah, I’m a lawyer, basically.

We say “hang loose” and “sleep tight” but shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Summers are for bicep curling peaches & plums right into your mouth