Queen RanDumb

It’s synchronized, Molly. So yous gotta!

I did a goggle cause of curiosity. Disappointment ensued

If you're happy and you know it, ew

A very very loud buzzer that sounds like a rooster

It’s cause I’m sassy, isn’t it

That is one I’ve never tried. I’ll take your word for it though

Omg not the Mickey’s. My stomach took a turn just now lol

lol sounds horrible. I love it

I would have held on to those moments a little tighter if I knew what looking back would feel like.

I got one for my grandma today, actually. Freshly warmed

Don’t forget the random singalongs that came out of nowhere lol

This is just bullshit

E&J Brandy also. Which I renamed eerk and jerk bc you almost always end up heaving on it lol

To be fair, I had a few of those nights as well. I can still smell them. Their own sort of magic.

Synchronized jump is scheduled for 0800 eastern standard time.

I love the ones I can remember though. More or less

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

Please respond

The end is nye.

I did a bit of a dry heave reading this lol but also, niiiice

this is the opposite of
no news is good news

In England the movie is “Never Been Snogged”.

a black and white photo of a dog and a kitten with the caption hurr durr i 'm a dog Alt: a black and white photo of a dog and a kitten with the caption hurr durr i 'm a dog

I got distracted and now this is happening

landlady from kung fu hustle viewed thru a door peephole looks like me going back to wake my kids up for the Nth time

i’m here fuckaas bitch

Bananas Foster is Australian for Bananas Beer.

a man in a black jacket is walking in a hallway Alt: a man in a black jacket is looking around him at his surroundings. Scratches the back of his head

Here where? Here there or here here? How’s your hair there? Or is it your hair here?

Grown ass man using swiffer as a verb

I submit that the records concerning who saves my posts be unsealed by this court

My alt follows your alt

Listen, I didn't ask for my opinions either.

Whatever it is, it's a yes from me