If it weren’t for the low hanging fruit, I’d never eat.
05.03.2026 03:21 —
👍 44
🔁 10
💬 1
📌 0
Guess I’ll just go to bed now WITH AN ACHY HEART
05.03.2026 03:17 —
👍 2
🔁 0
💬 1
📌 0
It’s on a crazy level how badly I wanna smooch her.
05.03.2026 03:14 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 1
📌 0
lol back atcha 😂🩵
05.03.2026 03:13 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
Butthole 🙃
05.03.2026 02:28 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 1
📌 0
*slow clap*
05.03.2026 02:24 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
About as magical as a flaccid unicorn.
05.03.2026 02:24 —
👍 19
🔁 3
💬 0
📌 0
This could have been a draft.
05.03.2026 01:58 —
👍 51
🔁 16
💬 5
📌 0
I don’t know how to get old without becoming either miserable or stupid
23.01.2026 01:07 —
👍 6
🔁 2
💬 0
📌 0
I think you’re right
05.03.2026 01:37 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
She had some about an hr ago. Din din is an hour and a half. I’ll be sure to tell her how great she is though 😊
05.03.2026 01:35 —
👍 0
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
Wanting to and being capable to are vastly different for her lol
05.03.2026 01:34 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 1
📌 0
bespeckled and bedeviled
05.03.2026 01:03 —
👍 41
🔁 12
💬 3
📌 0
She’s full of it
05.03.2026 01:31 —
👍 2
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
I taste of Fritos
05.03.2026 01:30 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
Hashtagpetthedamncat
05.03.2026 01:28 —
👍 71
🔁 11
💬 6
📌 0
Please keep my imaginary best friend Louis Longebones in your prayers. He’s 12 feet tall and hates spaghetti and just learned he’s got the rickets
12.02.2026 03:44 —
👍 108
🔁 23
💬 6
📌 0
Then I’ll need to live till at least 100
04.03.2026 23:04 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
Extremely so
04.03.2026 14:27 —
👍 2
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
*nods head* no.
04.03.2026 14:26 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 1
📌 0
Really? That's pretty interesting. I'll eat everything but the seeds. I guess I'll peel them and eat them in a closet so as to not disgust you.
04.03.2026 14:26 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 1
📌 0
It says helloooooooo Los'faratu
04.03.2026 14:19 —
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 1
📌 0
I just burped and some of the apple I ate for breakfast came back to say hello.
04.03.2026 14:10 —
👍 37
🔁 3
💬 8
📌 0
figment is short for fig newtonment
04.03.2026 07:15 —
👍 68
🔁 24
💬 4
📌 2
omg I noticed you didn’t like my cat pic, why do you hate my cat you monster
01.03.2026 03:22 —
👍 187
🔁 57
💬 17
📌 1
Enjoy your Bluesky crush while you can, before they disappear forever
27.02.2026 17:29 —
👍 103
🔁 34
💬 4
📌 1
I'm not depressed. I just hate everyone and everything
03.03.2026 15:43 —
👍 142
🔁 43
💬 8
📌 2
Don't talk to me before I've finished my existential bread
04.03.2026 13:57 —
👍 21
🔁 5
💬 0
📌 0
Assuming every post is about you makes social media incredibly amusing.
04.03.2026 14:04 —
👍 57
🔁 16
💬 5
📌 0
metham-phone-amine amirite?
04.03.2026 13:58 —
👍 7
🔁 3
💬 0
📌 0
