Queen RanDumb

It’s science!

Jasper was a shit brick this morning when he did that to me.

how bidet commercials should start

i thinks is pretty cool to have written Jolene and 9 to 5 and have a tool to move furniture named after you

Are we just making up words today? You look frizdidle today.

if you don’t post before your first cup of coffee are you even a shitposter

when life gives you lemons fuck lemonade
lemon curd is the whey

Honestly sounds like the best day! Stay safe and enjoy it 🪅🎉

If you go down on a wine mom is it a wine tasting?

the narrator of my life sounds like tracy morgan freeman

some notifs make you happy
others make you gag

lol too right

Of course! I hope you have the day you need 🩵

Andrew Mountbatten: But I never even met Miss Conduct, and if I did we certainly didn't do it in the office

That makes more sense than anything else I’ve read this morning.

lol that’s what they want you to think!
Happy Tuesday to you!

That’s a sign of the end times

Norman Rockwell’s Freedom of Speech Freedom of Speech depicts a scene of a 1942 Arlington town meeting in which Jim Edgerton, the lone dissenter to the town selectmen's announced plans to build a new school, as the old one had burned down,[9] was accorded the floor as a matter of protocol.[10] Edgerton supported the rebuilding process but was concerned about the tax burden of the proposal, as his family farm had been ravaged by disease.[11] A memory of this scene struck Rockwell as an excellent fit for illustrating "freedom of speech", and inspired him to use his Vermont neighbors as models for the entire Four Freedoms series.[12][13] The blue-collar speaker wears a plaid shirt and suede jacket, with dirty hands and a darker complexion than others in attendance.[14] The other attendees are wearing white shirts, ties and jackets.[15] One of the men in the painting is holding a document that reveals a subject of the meeting as "a discussion of the town's annual report".[5] Edgerton's youth and workmanlike hands are fashioned with a worn and stained jacket, while the other attendees appear to be older and more neatly and formally dressed. According to Bruce Cole of The Wall Street Journal, Edgerton is shown "standing tall, his mouth open, his shining eyes transfixed, he speaks his mind, untrammeled and unafraid", and his face resembles Abraham Lincoln.[5] According to Robert Scholes, the work shows audience members in rapt attention with admiration of the speaker, who resembles a Gary Cooper or Jimmy Stewart character in a Frank Capra film.[16] According to John Updike, the work is painted without any painterly brushwork.[17]

Once I became a meme I realized I was ready to do a podcast your honour and from there I wrote my book and developed the script for TV
You can do anything in America
Just ask the president

All while getting kisses and treatos if you’re anything like me lol

Today’s true fact so don’t bother trying to prove me wrong: flamingos are pink bc they’re big fans of original flavor cotton candy.

Brat gets thrown around to mine daily.

All of that sounds awful lol

The problem is they’re extremely smart but dumb dumbs at the same time. It’s honestly impressive lol

Called my cat a “dumb dick” this morning. If you were wondering what the vibes were today.

The only thing getting me through all of this *twirls around w arms flailing” is the knowledge that pets live as long as their owners.

@lockwilford.com happy birthday you lovable weirdo 😊🙃🎂

If you're attacked by a mob of clowns...
Go for the juggler.

"Hey, wait a minute..." - Clark Kent's optometrist

Explain the workings of the universe, please. As well as any other pertinent information you can think of.

"Hm, don't understand that" -me, scrolling.