the days are running out of hours
breaking the day's legs and implanting metal rods to make it a few minutes longer
food has to have a little bit of poison in it
cigarette butts in the mud
burning down the forest for a rock that lies to me
there are people in your phone, but computer is not a person
they use senso-rings like Coneheads
cosmic web implies spider god
no, it’s a fine horse year…I just didn’t expect it to be on fire
make it the 51st state
Super Bowl ads for machines that turn people inside out
(watching curling) you should have to scream the name of every sport as you play it
explaining “it’s sexual for me” whenever anyone asks about one of my hobbies
contracting leprosy from this goblin and getting confined to your own personal winter
in their midwinter desperation they direct prayers not to a silent God but to the lesser creatures of the earth
God has donned His earmuffs, which is why He can’t hear our prayers
Groundhog Day but it’s briefly releasing a Zeta Reticulan from space jail only to zap it with a cattle prod, and it’s every Monday
yanking a comfy critter from its cozy hole because I’m jealous
imploring a wretched creature to release us from this torment
speaking only to the bad cop to keep em guessing
walking Hamden ham
if you’re not using some sort of canes you’re not maximizing your potential as a kind of goat man
slop at the trough ≫
Super Bowl branding is funny because it’s like America is the New Rome unless we have to use a big L in which case we’ll stick with Arabic numerals
playing a game of Telephone with God and His other creatures
in this house we worship the god of rot and decay
horror movie “don’t go in there” reaction trope but it’s a space alien observing planet Earth bemused by the humans
there are valuable metalloproteins in rich people’s blood
Greenland looks so big on a map because it is the largest island on the planet
