Danielle Kurtzleben

The toddler has taken to observing, nearly daily, that I am "the big one" and Dad is "the short one."

Like he's not WRONG but also it's very funny.

[raises hand] I’m unclear on what Providence actually is. Can you do a short explanation please?

“They named the bombs fat *man* and little *boy*. When do girls get a turn?”

Give women the opportunity to drop nukes as well. We just need the CHANCE.

I’m sorry but Man Cereal just makes it sound like there are pieces of men in it. Like…it contains gonads or something.

Uh oh. Which pod?

Too bad “solid as a ron” doesn’t work

Wake up babe Arrested Development is relevant again

Remember how Trump's SOTU included a line about how he'd stopped eight wars, including Israel v. Iran?

I feel triggered

Donald Trump in 2012:

Neo-imperialist-con-realist? Neoconperealialist? Conneorealimperialist?

Follow Geoff for updates on strikes -- where and when they're happening >>>

There's a line of code in Microsoft Windows that says, more or less, "if major news breaks and a reporter needs to go live please restart their computer for 'updates' immediately."

Oh just gonna cry here quietly on my couch

In college this was a Tuesday

Where’s the line between cool-oversized blazer and 4-year-old-playing-dress up-and-swimming-in-my-dad’s-suit asking for a friend

Possibilities:
1) someone who thinks I’m soooo witty
2) someone at NPR who wonders why I dick around on bluesky so much

February 26, 2026 Dear members of the Columbia community: This morning at approximately 6:30 a.m., federal agents from the Department of Homeland Security entered a Columbia Residential building and detained a student. We are working to gather more information, working to reach the family, and providing legal support. Our understanding at this time is that the federal agents made misrepresentations to gain entry to the building to search for a "missing person." We are working to gather more details. It is important to reiterate that all law enforcement agents must have a judicial warrant or judicial subpoena to access non-public areas of the University, including

It is important to reiterate that all law enforcement agents must have a judicial warrant or judicial subpoena to access non-public areas of the University, including housing, classrooms, and areas requiring CUID swipe access. An administrative warrant is not sufficient. If law enforcement agents seek entry to non-public areas of the University, ask the agents to wait to enter any non-public areas until contacting Public Safety. Public Safety will contact the Office of the General Counsel to coordinate the University's response. Do not allow them to enter or accept service of a warrant or subpoena. We will update our community as additional information becomes available. Sincerely,

BREAKING: Columbia President Claire Shipman says DHS agents entered a residential buliding this morning and detained a student.

"Our understanding at this time is that the federal agents made misrepresentations to gain entry to the building to search for a 'missing person.'"

The problem with working out in the morning is that it’s working out in the morning.

Trump cheered himself and Republicans while scolding Democrats in State of the Union Focusing on political victories during his State of the Union address, Trump gave himself and Republicans high marks while scolding Democrats for their stances on the economy and immigration.

Did you miss/just not watch the State of the Union? I have summarized it. www.npr.org/2026/02/24/n...

Little-known fact: You are allowed to wedgie any journalist or pundit, penalty-free, who uses the phrase "stem-winder" about tonight's State of the Union.

Is it a sign of depression or extreme mental wellness that I've watched the Alysa Liu free skate like a dozen times

Like i said: feels gooooood

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

Holy shit no!!! Hahahahahahahaaha

Every day I slip deeper into my "oh my God I don't give any fucks anymore" social media phase

DC Police know this. They got the memo. It's not assault if you're punishing a nerd.

Little-known fact: You are allowed to wedgie any journalist or pundit, penalty-free, who uses the phrase "stem-winder" about tonight's State of the Union.