Danielle Kurtzleben

Really hung up on the chief Washington correspondent for ABC News, a supposed journalist, having no shame about telling the president, "nobody questions the success of the military operation."

Uh, yeah, there are questions. You're a journalist. Question it, man.

i cannot stress enough that if you know anything about how kristi noem found out she was fired you must tell me

You never told us you’re Maureen Dowd.

Just posting until I get fired/sternly reprimanded

I mean rough men always help ME sleep better amiright THERE it was an EASY JOKE

How I Got Into Journalism, Part 1 The first in a thrilling two-part saga aimed at telling you that you are not washed-up and you should probably just go follow your dreams or you will die wretched and bitter.

A read for your evening commute: Part 1 of how I got into journalism (part 2, I promise, will be more about how you can too)

Anyway, go follow your dreams, because the world is terrifying and you deserve to live with as little regret as possible.

daniellekurtzleben.substack.com/p/how-i-got-...

There is a lewd joke I’m not making uggggggh being a professional is the worst

ROUGH MEN. [bangs on the masculinity sign] People. You NEED ROUGH MEN SO YOU CAN SLEEP.

Dude one of the first things I said was “I really don’t think he said that.” And it seems he didn’t.

How I Got Into Journalism, Part 1 The first in a thrilling two-part saga aimed at telling you that you are not washed-up and you should probably just go follow your dreams or you will die wretched and bitter.

A read for your evening commute: Part 1 of how I got into journalism (part 2, I promise, will be more about how you can too)

Anyway, go follow your dreams, because the world is terrifying and you deserve to live with as little regret as possible.

daniellekurtzleben.substack.com/p/how-i-got-...

but he drives a pickup

It was a friendly email so i'd say good. (Also he thanked me for being kind to him, which hahahahahaha i have SO MUCH POWER)

This is, I have been told, a good thing about my writing. :)

Update: this post prompted a many-years-ago ex-boyfriend to email me, which is proof of the power of my lore. You should definitely read and share.

Oh.......oh my God.

OK look. I only became a full-time journalist at 27. Still young, but in DC baby journalist years ANCIENT.

Preach

How I Got Into Journalism, Part 1 The first in a thrilling two-part saga aimed at telling you that you are not washed-up and you should probably just go follow your dreams or you will die wretched and bitter.

Today: I get annoyingly inspirational and tell you to follow your dreams and go be a journalist (or whatever else you want).

open.substack.com/pub/danielle...

‘Nazi heaven’: Inside Miami campus Republicans’ racist group chat The chat is the subject of a Florida International University police investigation.

The secretary of Miami-Dade County’s GOP started a group chat for conservative students — and within 3 weeks, it was filled with over 400 instances of the N-word, Nazi rhetoric and writings of "dozens of ways of violently killing Black people"

how dare you

“fuck ok fine I will be so mad if I don’t do this”

Oh I like this rebrand

This rules.

My bad news is that the following things in fact do make life better:

1) exercising early in the morning
2) staying hydrated
3) not drinking too much
4) gratitude journaling (I know)

My good news is that these things also work:

1) retail therapy
2) drugs
3) screaming
4) aging

The White House just posted a video mixing real footage from the Iran strikes with a killstreak animation from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

x.com/WhiteHouse/s...

"And here's a song about the ol' ball and chain's menses. Aint that right honey?"

[wife offstage, smiling hard. very very hard.]

"I'm just kiddin. You know i love ya. Three weeks out of every month that is!"

[wife smiles until her teeth shatter]

I think maybe once a week about this dude folk singer I saw once like 10 years ago, who toured with his wife (also a singer), and who wrote a fun jokey song about his wife's PMS.

Said song was called "Ragtime Blues."

I just

YES

It took until I started marathoning to even put a crack in the Body Stuff. I finally realized “welp if I can run 26.2 miles at a good pace and my body still looks like this, maybe I’ll never be thin.”

It’s just relentless.

Why can’t they just do the asterisks? So weird.