Peter Capretto

Assistant Professor of Hebrew Bible - HigherEdJobs Jobs in higher education. Faculty and administrative positions at colleges and universities. Updated daily. Free to job seekers.

More detail: 2:2 teaching load; financially stable institution; good pay, benefits, research funds; despite being in Oklahoma, Phillips is very progressive and committed to social justice work. I’m happy to answer other questions.

tinyurl.com/22uz85em

Assistant Professor of the History(ies) of Global Christianity(ies) - HigherEdJobs Jobs in higher education. Faculty and administrative positions at colleges and universities. Updated daily. Free to job seekers.

Phillips Theological Seminary (Tulsa) is hiring TWO TT positions: [1] Histories of Global Christianities; [2] Hebrew Bible, due OCT 15 with very easy 1st-round materials: cover letter, CV, and contact info for recommenders. Please share widely.

tinyurl.com/jmszbtn9

“To increase cookie sales, I have added broken glass to the recipe.”

[sales plummet]
[sales plummet so bad that even your broken glass supplier wonders what you’re doing]

“I have improved the recipe by using slightly less broken glass.”

[sales plummet slightly less]

“I am a cookie genius.”

JD Vance is so nauseatingly unlikeable that he’s literally dragging down the AfD’s approval rating

Hey good people of the AAR/SBL and beyond. The Transformative Scholarship and Pedagogy Unit’s call for papers is now live through March 3. We’re a comparatively small but progressive unit exploring the boundaries between scholarship and activism in religion. We'd love to see your proposals!

Elon Musk is a good example of how terrible people become increasingly radicalized into the far right simply because the far right is a community that accepts cruel, terrible people.

It's tempting to say Elon is going "mask off", but I'd wager Elon didn't know who Tommy Robinson was 5 years ago. 1/

I'm also turning 125 today, which I'm sure Bed Bath and Beyond's marketing team is pondering seriously.

Happy birthday to everyone who, like me, distrusts retailers that require you to provide your birthday and just leaves it at the default of New Year’s Day out of principle. A lot of warm email wishes from our washing machines today.

[learns a package I ordered two weeks ago was delayed and won’t get here by Christmas]

Me: “Ahh dang. That’s annoying and inconvenient.”

[learns the delay is due to the Amazon strike]

Me (enlightened): “Oh hell yeah! Screw that gift! Smash it on one of Bezos’s robots for me!”

Hey good people at the AAR/SBL. Looking for a space to learn, process, and strategize about how to teach on justice-oriented issues in these hostile circumstances we’re in? If so, come join a special session on “Teaching Against the State: Resisting Anti-CRT and Anti-LGBTQIA Authoritarianism.”

the idea of endlessly commentating on these evil, rancid, huckster monsters as they strip everything valuable in the US for parts every day for possibly the rest of my life makes me want to go hide in a cave and cultivate knowledge of the orphic mystery cult

I await my influx of venture capital.

Million-dollar idea for a cutting-edge tech innovation bound to disrupt industries and garner wide market appeal:

A search engine that does not use AI.

“In Springfield they’re eating the pets.”

Sir the question was about immigration.

you can simply tell Elon Musk has never watched The Sopranos. for that reason alone he will never have respect

Avert your eyes pacifists but this would in fact be the most hilarious of all possible worlds:

“The politics of the university are so intense because the stakes are so low.”

Some days I think this trivializes the hard work of academic labor. Then there are days like today when I can only think, “OK, yes. We need to go and touch some grass together.”

The only exception is the voice actor for Snoopy, who just makes barking and honking noises. At 49, he was about the age of all of the other actors combined.

TIL that all of the voice actors for Charlie Brown Christmas were 6 to 11 years old.

I could live to 100 and the first time trying it will always come out “Bed, Bath, and Bodyworks”

Ever since Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat made that remark about U.S. Thanksgiving meals being among the most gustatorily homogenous on the planet, my respect for cranberry sauce has grown a lot. I always saw it as a pre-desert side, but it really is essential for the acid game of the meal itself.

It happened, everyone. Today I got trapped in a Veterans Day parade, and they were playing Born in the USA without awareness of… you know… the words.