@squeekknowsall.bsky.social
Not associated with Leaky Steve (parody)
Star Wars: Battlefront key art
EA logo
Battlefront 3 is currently in development. The game will be an attempt to showcase all the good the empire does, all of the harm the rebels have done. The game will let you kill anyone you suspect of being a rebel, with consequences only applying if you kill a high ranking Sith member.
29.09.2025 19:01 β π 1 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0
Persona 5 Royal box art
Atlus logo
A remake of Persona 5 from the ground up is currently in development. When asked for comment, an Atlus spokesperson said βHow could we possibly make Persona 6 until we bring Persona 5 up to the standards set by Persona 5?β
17.09.2025 12:20 β π 0 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0
ALDI logo
Shigeru Miyamoto
Nintendo is looking to buy the ALDI corporation. When asked about this situation, Miyamoto reportedly said βWhat the hell are you talking about why the fuck would we do that?β This is why he is the greatest game designer.
17.09.2025 02:03 β π 2 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0One of my sources is currently destroying all of the servers a kneecap level to insure that the online will be bugged at launch
14.09.2025 00:15 β π 1 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0The next game in the Kirbyβs Dream Course series is in development. The team is currently scouting out a beautiful nature reserve they can destroy in order to make a bad golf course to use for reference photos.
13.09.2025 21:35 β π 1 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0Aya Kyogoku was about to green light a new Animal Crossing game but she decided to send all of the funding and all of the staff members who wouldβve worked on that game into Fire Emblem Fortuneβs Weave because she hates you, specifically.
12.09.2025 21:59 β π 1 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0Yoshio Sakamoto is currently writing Famicom Detective Club 4. When one of my sources asked about the satellaview game which would technically make this new one the fifth game in the series, they were promptly devoured by the piranha plant named Audrey which Sakamoto keeps on his desk.
12.09.2025 20:58 β π 2 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0Miyamoto was on the fence about charging $70 for two Wii games, until someone emulated a 30 year old game he didnβt even know existed which cost his family a weekβs worth of dinner at which point he needed to increase the cost in order to survive. This is why he is the greatest game designer.
12.09.2025 20:53 β π 1 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0The Japanese direct had an exclusive trailer for a new IP from Nintendo called βγ‘γγ½γγΎγγγγ γγγγ§γ.β It is a new 3D platformer staring Tingle. My sources do not think it will be released in the west due to the game going against Tingleβs canonical asexuality.
12.09.2025 16:16 β π 2 π 1 π¬ 1 π 0Nintendo actually tried to purchase the Banjo Kazooie franchise from Microsoft in 2017, however they were forced to back out when Phil Spencer requested that the purchase be made through a 200 billion yen donation to Israel in his name. This offer was so atrocious that Miyamoto physically vomited
12.09.2025 14:47 β π 1 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0What did I tell you?
12.09.2025 14:20 β π 2 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0The Fire Emblem Genealogy of the Holy War remake has been cancelled. This is because the master copy was destroyed by famous Super Smash Brothers player Scrimblo the Bimblo. My sources say he was upset that Chrom was added to Ultimate instead of Master Chief, and wanted to punish Fire Emblem fans.
12.09.2025 14:18 β π 2 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0Cygames, the creators of Umamusume, are reportedly looking to collaborate with Nintendo. My sources tell me that the only franchise Miyamoto-Sanβs willing to give up is the Star Fox franchise, because he has no clue what else to do with it. This is why he is the greatest game designer.
12.09.2025 12:56 β π 1 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0Letβs just say fans of a certain Nintendo franchise should look forward to todayβs directβ¦
12.09.2025 12:43 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
