For Sale: Baby shoes. Never worn. (Baby is dead.)

I consider myself a fairly cynical person, and yet it never occurred to me that we wouldn't have a critical mass of the population get the vaccine. The fact that so many people chose to not get it or got it but never got a single booster was the tipping point for me becoming a sincere misanthrope.

Footage of the Israeli massacre of journalists outside Al-Shifa Hospital in Gaza City — filmed by journalist Abdel Qader Sabbah, who rushed to the scene and captured the immediate aftermath.

A satanic cross would have been less jarring.

I can’t lose what sanity I have (responsibilities), and I in *no way* compare myself to victims of these atrocities, but I’m struggling watching the hourly liquidation of an entire people broadcast live in high definition—coupled with mainstream punditry claiming this is normal, justified, or a hoax

So I imagine the world leaders with an inkling of conscience play the mental game they always play when they talk themselves into supporting evil: This evil is gonna happen anyway, and the only way I can mitigate it is by remaining in power, because the guy who replaces me will make it even worse.

I think Politico even reported, last year, that the DNC was afraid of how damaging it would be to their fundraising efforts if they didn't espouse full-throated support for Israel.

At the risk of sounding like I'm invoking an old anti-Semitic canard, I think there are very wealthy, powerful people (many of whom aren't Jewish) invested in Israel's impunity, who will ruin your fundraising and future grifting prospects if you don't bend the knee, which is why even Bernie does.

I’m sure the men are also bad, don’t yell at me

Fellas if you want a girlfriend that’s just a lazy composite of all the media fed into her with no actual personality then leave the AI alone try freaking HINGE!!!

I thought the new Naked Gun was pretty good, I wonder if they could do a little better in a sequel, but the snowy cabin montage scene had me laughing harder than anything I've seen in a theater in a long time. That alone justifies the price of a movie ticket.

Awful movie tbqh

I don't know I can ever forgive them... [a hideously large grin slowly grows across my face, extending impossibly beyond the width of my head]... for being Coldplay fans.

To be fair, that dick sucking factory would collapse without you. You're the linchpin of the whole operation.

It may upend their lives, but at least there's no chance this would ever become a curse worse than death.

The moment they lowered their standards?

I'm a big fan of found footage horror movies, and people keep telling me about these "actually, surprisingly good" ones made by some randos on YouTube, and whenever I've checked one out, it has always sucked complete shit. They make the worst Paranormal Activity movie look like The Shining.

Simpler times

A joke I think about all the time is in Being John Malkovich where Malkovich's best friend turns out to be Charlie Sheen (and it's even better when you learn it was Malkovich's idea). That should be used all the time. Every protagonist's best friend should be Charlie Sheen. It'd never not be funny.

This is always fun. Less fun is promoting my own work, but it's self-published, so self-promotion kinda goes with the territory. Also, I need some dental work. So: Here's my collection, filled with vampiric priests, fascist clowns, weird quasi-porn theaters, and a talking cat.

#HorrorWritersChat

Jesus and Judas hug it out on Watch What Happens Live.

What if Jesus or Judas were interviewed about The New Testament, & they were like, “You know what it doesn’t capture? How much fun we had.”

We're never defeating MAGA

i wonder how many sherpas have been lectured about how climbing a mountain is similar to being a chief technical officer

Some like the 90's mini-series version, but, to me, this version had a little more heat.

Sounds like the perfect landing spot for your "Downton Abbey attacked by aliens" pitch.

Really? That's interesting.

You and the Mads Mikkelsen Hannibal Lecter would probably be excellent brunch buddies.

Congrats! Hell yeah.

"AlmoDÓvar? Uhhhhh, how 'bout you AlmoDON'Tvar!?!" [Bootsy Collins exclaiming, "FREAK, babuh!"]

"The plural of 'octopus' is not 'octopi,' because it's derived from Greek, not Latin."

[ 💥 AIR HORN/THE INCEPTION " BWAAAAAAAHHH" 💥 ]