For Sale: Baby shoes. Never worn. (Baby is dead.)

Jimmy Fallon Plans to ‘Keep My Head Down’ and Avoid Politics on ‘The Tonight Show’: ‘We Hit Both Sides Equally’ Jimmy Fallon says he plans to "keep my head down" and avoid politics on "The Tonight Show."

Pussy ass

We are thrilled to announce that our NEW Large Language Model will be released on 11.18.25.

I'm returning just to say I'm very sad to hear Kaleb Horton has passed away. He was a brilliant writer, and by all accounts a great guy.

I'm going to try to stay off social media, for a while (except for refreshing Twitter during Eagles games). So, FYI, if you message me here or on Instagram or Facebook or whatever, I might not see it.

The more practical adults in the room know this is always the best strategy.

Maybe if we're really nice to the unhinged lunatics who talk only of destroying us, they'll appreciate it and let us win.

What if I told you government could do more than just punish people you’re afraid of?

cool, ed martin (whose path to be us atty for dc was blocked and who now ostensibly runs doj's "weaponization" probe) is hanging out with alex jones

your boy Garfield is lasagn one

You think you're so moral, but you don't see that there are strings attached to all your limbs that are being pulled by, you guessed it, Lucifer himself, standing behind you.

I hate when you do that when I'm trying to play with my toy trucks on the sidewalk or burn ants with a magnifying glass.

"that is not what we're about"

Before cancel culture, it was okay to celebrate a friend's 50th birthday by collaborating on a birthday book to immortalize his penchant for sexually preying on underage girls. But that's yet another thing we've lost in today's society. Because woke.

Perfectly said by the brilliant Cliffy V.

I actually tried it, but the trim was all wrong. It was a raspberry color that didn't match the red in the items i already have. I just donated it to charity, yesterday.
Thank you for thinking about it, though. That was very nice of you.

Maybe he even gains a smooth Keith David-like voice, and he starts moonlighting as the host of a Midnight Rain-like smooth jazz podcast, called "Bobby's Hour."

It would be objectively funny if RFK Jr got a tracheotomy and started speaking normally.

Nothing offends society more than a man with interests.

LET 👏 PEOPLE 👏 LIKE 👏 THINGS 👏

I was just thinking this morning of throwaway Homer jokes that I love, and another one is him thinking the Alan Parsons Project was some sort of hovercraft.

As a result of due process and following all applicable laws, the people in this administration should be executed by firing squad.

I talked to a firm, today, about pricing to have them do my application for Irish citizenship.

Stanley from Golden Girls was the Trinity bomb.

Palantir co-founder Peter Thiel to lead 4-part series on the Antichrist

Always a fan of first-person, Fog of War-style documentaries

Liberals are going crazy trying to convince themselves President Trump is at death's door, but here he is with one of his supporters, looking better than ever.

I know you weren't soliciting recommendations, but if you have a little extra scratch, I just got the Samsung Galaxy Z Fold 7, and it's changed my life. Go play with one at a Best Buy before you rule it out. It's awesome.

Also, I don't know what replacing him with Slender Man accomplishes.

Tar opening credits set to the black eyed peas singing "lets see what Tar did"

Lol

The new, mind-blowingly awful Jurassic World movie makes the mistake I talk about in this thread a lot. They're stranded on a dinosaur island with no help, and yet they loudly banter and expound through the jungle, and act like this every time one of the ancillary characters is eaten: