🌙 Ali - The Goblin with the Möth Tattoo ✨️

Is summer over yet?

Wise work words from Ali: "There's are people in this world who could screw up making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

First thing I'm doing if I ever get rich is buying a summer home in the southern hemisphere.

They should forgive your scratchpay debt if the pet dies cause why am I still paying for a dead cat? #thisisajoke #imtraumatized

I cannot quit afternoon caffeine. I remembered today that the whole reason I dose myself in the afternoon is to stay focused amd not get ADHD zoomies

Overheard at work except it was me who said it:
Me: Hey Dev, what is the tallest bridge in town?
Dev: Uh I don't know why?
Me: So I can drive my car off of it.
Ang: *Busts out in giggles like a schoolgirl*
Me: Dev is gonna call the cops on me one of these days for a 72 hour hold. 🤣

That ending about not wearing pants SENT ME 🤣 I want the drugs I was on 3 years ago.

I'm the cold wind that touches your face when you have tears in your eyes; The leaf that flutters helplessly on the end of the branch in autumn. I'm an enigma, not meant to be known but yet everyone knows what I am. When the rain pours outside, I'm the birds that play happily in the grass just to pluck a worm from the ground, yet I'm also the worm. I'm the cryptid that groans and screams in the forest as you shiver in your tent begging for the last embers of fire to stay burning so I don't snatch you up. If you don't like soliloquies, just know that I'd really rather you not know me. Don't knock on my door, I'm probably not wearing pants.

I recently got back into my NextDoor App account and my introduction from 3 years ago is so beautifully written 🤣 Holy shit

Made the realization that only men ID me for products nowadays. Fuckers are stroking my ego. 🤣

So I'm talking to my friend and tell him I'm trying to quit afternoon caffeine. I told him it's not going well and I am so exhausted.
He says: "Yeah do me a favor and tell me how many of your meds say 'may cause drowsiness' on them?"
Me: "4 out of the 6"
Him: "Drink your afternoon coffee, bitch"

I'm gonna be on the good side of the robots when they wage war on us because I said thank you and please

Catch me in the Chocolate Factory

A porch at an apartment covered in snow.

The same porch on a sunny day with no snow on the ground.

The new Kansas conversation topic is "I mean it's hot but at least it's not 20 inches of snow." And I think that's beautiful.
Pictures for reference. 🤣

I don't need to as this is my favorite Pokémon too 😭

A brown dog lays down and in the background is a True Crime TV show playing on a TV

My dog not only will actively listen to me spilling tea but he also watches true crime with me. 🤣

Still trying to convince their friends to create a drama podcast called Hot-teas

Only song I know on there is Big Iron.

@madamekelli.bsky.social

Doodle owners are the Autism Moms of the dog world and I will not elaborate.

Inb4 If you are a great mom or a great dog owner I'm not talking to you.

I have never driven through Nebraska but I hear it's like driving through Iowa which felt like forever to me 🤣

Now that my insurance, yet again, knows that I am not under my mom's insurance from 2009 I can go back to therapy. So now I'm therapist shopping I guess cause my last one decided to retire after being with me for a year. 🤣

You must've drove through Kansas 🤣

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Why does it always storm when I gotta shower? Is it the Gods' way of telling me that my time is near?

First time I played it all those years ago I had to actually pause the game and sit on it. Like she deserved better than that. 😭 The dialog alone had me in a choke hold.

A black screen with green lettering. It reads: "Balance Activity and Rest Your active time of 4 hours and 50 minutes yesterday was excessive, affecting your energy score. Consider reducing your activity today to allow for better recovery. This balance can help improve your energy score tomorrow. Prioritize rest to prevent injury and maintain a healthy routine."

How rough was work yesterday? Samsung told me to be lazy today. #manuallabor

I just had a PFT test today I can tell you that I'd rather do anything else than breathe atm 🤣🤣🤣

Greatest country in the world.
/sarcasm

Now that the roids wore off from my PFT I am now exhausted beyond all reason.