ParaMusic

I don't 'get drunk' I attend to my whiskey business

Can you think of a better name (fo a bunch of friends, carpool crew)??? Here's a few more from me:

Pit crew, carpool
The brigade
Hottie wheels
Petrol patrol
Ship o'fools
DJ Sea-pool ft MC Drive
Shifty business
Friend's Route Commute
This is the way (to work)
Rock on/Talk on!
AM/AB PM/BA (routes)

Carpool?

More like carCool!!!

Because all the people in the car are cool

*Crickets*

(Slowly kicks box of matching sized carCool golf shirts behind the bushes)

Then I slept 16 hours that night because a sleep deficit is no joke

When I get really tired I get this feeling callled "the drop" when it feels like my entire body falls for a split second and I have the forceful urge to literally 'fall' alseep. I'm so good at them now, I can keep completely stationary and even not move my eyes or yawn without moving my mouth

Oh the sources you'll cite

I can walk both quietly and loudly... this is a humblebrag, but I fear a little too humble

If I had bunch of apples like in those math problems, I'd share

You don't know the lyrics to Wonderwall, that's so sus

-Someome, somewhere, probably

Ya we do metal covers of Flock of SeaGulls, we're called Block of Knives

....

We opened for the wizard punk band Mage Agaist the Machinery

... when's your next show?

Hmmm, if I buy an ice cream maker it's equivalent to 14 cartons of ice cream...I just don't know if it'll be worth it

(a person who literally eats over 100 gallons of ice cream in a year)

"Welcome to my dojo!"

The Sensei on my first day of Karate

That patient was eating from the 5 food groups

The 5 food groups:
1) Emotional crisis
2)Existential crisis
3)Medical crisis
4)Acute trauma
5)Bad taste in music

Wizard: I cast pod; pod-cast!!

(To crew) Quickly, we only have an hour and a half until their emerge from their niche topic haze

Me: AI can never fully capture he human spirit

Me after texting this string of emojis:

Yasss! 💯🫶🔥✊️😊

Holy macaroni!
(Due to budget cuts)
Has been replaced by:

*drumroll*

Goshdarn gruel

*a repoman comes in and repos the drum*

More like a-crew-stic guitar, because of all the picks you accrue....

Try to figure out if I'm psychic by calling out the color of Starbursts before I take them out of the bag. I've been right 28 times in a row. I've said red every time. My friends are crying and begging me to stop. Oh no, the party is ruined. Someone pull out a pack of tarot cards and save us all

If I had to choose a superpower, as a medic, I'd have to say the ability to heal... like what I already do but magically

My white noise machine is set to frying bologna

And: Cat😸 👍

New Year and the word of the day is Sporadically

As in, I'm going to sporadically use my word of the day calendar

I got too heated watching "Is it Cake" and was asked to step out of the watching party to cool down, so I guess yes, I am a *goofy air quotes* bad boy

Is soup the answer?
-my first guess to any riddle and life

I unsubscribed from LinkedIn and they told me I was LinkedOut

"I get a tattoo every time I'm sad"

"But you don't have any tattoos"

😎

🎶 All I want for Christmas, is FOOD!

Ladies and gentlemen

The Gon-Doors!!

Featuring The Gond-orchestra

VS

The royal ORC-hestra

When I was a kid I was sick in bed, and I asked the babysitter to tell me the plot of episodes of star trek b/c I was too sick to do anything but lay in bed

When I was finally feeling better later in the day, I was able to watch the movie he brought: The Princess Bride

This is a true story, lol

My reaction to this site most of the time:

Weird...love it