hold it up against a pic of the night sky
05.03.2026 03:13 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0hold it up against a pic of the night sky
05.03.2026 03:13 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0NEW YORKER CAPTION CONTEST IMAGE: two cats sitting and talking as another cat with a Salvador Dali mustache walks by MY CAPTION: "Aw shit old-timey guy coming for the rent"
Theyβve come for the rent the rent the rent, The New Yorker.
05.03.2026 02:50 β π 31 π 2 π¬ 2 π 1my blood moon thirst remains unsated
05.03.2026 02:00 β π 37 π 8 π¬ 2 π 0I'm already against the next war! haha, but I'm still against the last 27 wars too
02.03.2026 20:00 β π 19 π 5 π¬ 0 π 0
interviewer: any weaknesses?
me: my knees
i have a sneaking suspicion. i have regular suspicions too, but this one is pretty sneaky
04.03.2026 20:07 β π 111 π 37 π¬ 1 π 0my blood moon thirst remains unsated
05.03.2026 02:00 β π 37 π 8 π¬ 2 π 0New Mr Beast contest: one lucky winner gets safely evacuated from Iran while the other contestants look on in horror as they are left behind
04.03.2026 16:41 β π 163 π 23 π¬ 5 π 1Evergreen
04.03.2026 03:13 β π 15 π 2 π¬ 1 π 0haha for real
04.03.2026 03:14 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0I was told Voldemort would return a sense of normalcy to the Ministry of Magic.
01.03.2026 06:38 β π 50 π 7 π¬ 0 π 0sorry i missed your text, are you still bombing iran from the blanket fort
28.02.2026 23:54 β π 135 π 26 π¬ 4 π 0Flying in the breeze, rhythmically smacking his ass
04.03.2026 00:39 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0take my view. please!
03.03.2026 22:41 β π 5 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0Superman realizing he doesnβt have any pockets, shoving his cell phone into the waistband of his red external underwear, resigning to it just sticking halfway out.
03.03.2026 18:55 β π 88 π 14 π¬ 3 π 0Watching Death of a Unicorn and it is by far the best Jurassic Park movie I've seen in years
28.02.2026 04:21 β π 11 π 5 π¬ 1 π 0From @osirisguitar "Swedish literally translated names for animals..." shows: RIVER HORSE, = hippo, BLUBBER HUNTER = killer whale, INKFISH = squid, LATEWALKER = sloth, LEECHCONE = hedgehog, BEAKANIMAL = platypus, FLAPPINGMOUSE = bat, SHIELDTOAD = turtle & WASHBEAR = raccoon
Please enjoy an old post I saw today on Instagram:
01.03.2026 17:58 β π 173 π 33 π¬ 14 π 4referring to death as "killing the vibe"
21.02.2026 22:46 β π 302 π 95 π¬ 6 π 2And war crimes!
02.03.2026 23:39 β π 12 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0I just did! βΊοΈ
02.03.2026 02:09 β π 4 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0This is simply one of the best pieces of political communications in history.
19.02.2026 21:54 β π 59 π 11 π¬ 3 π 1people are so weird you ask a couple of strangers to brush your hair and suddenly youβre banned from the ups store
01.03.2026 22:01 β π 181 π 30 π¬ 5 π 0practicing good portion control by having only one major mental breakdown every day
01.03.2026 11:15 β π 207 π 53 π¬ 6 π 0Trump with his mouth open talking into a microphone
NEW TRUMP VIDEO
On Iran:
βCombat operations will continue until all of our objectives are achieved. We have very strong objectives.β
[Yes, he really said that.]
On the deaths of US service members:
βSadly there will likely be moreβ¦thatβs the way it is.β
[Yes, he really said that.]
You receive yet another email supposedly from yourself and roll your eyes while sending it to spam.
In an alternate universe, your counterpart frantically awaits a reply to their URGENT message.
later stage capitalism or latest stage capitalism
01.03.2026 00:51 β π 56 π 10 π¬ 2 π 0Yeah, sorry i'm late - been trying to explain the concept of time to my cat
27.02.2026 00:22 β π 273 π 68 π¬ 4 π 0crime AND punishment? in this economy?
26.02.2026 05:36 β π 30 π 8 π¬ 0 π 1keystone cops-ass technology
27.02.2026 20:42 β π 556 π 129 π¬ 30 π 48