Give me the beat boy and free my soul. Oh, I canβt have both? Hmmm. Then Iβll just take that beat boy. Heβs my beat boy now!
06.03.2026 06:35 β π 23 π 1 π¬ 2 π 0Give me the beat boy and free my soul. Oh, I canβt have both? Hmmm. Then Iβll just take that beat boy. Heβs my beat boy now!
06.03.2026 06:35 β π 23 π 1 π¬ 2 π 0oh hell yeah Nashiro must die
05.03.2026 23:01 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0
They arrested Chuck E. Cheese, handcuffing him while children plaintively wailed his name.
I think the question we should be asking ourselves now is: what other beloved mascots can we imprison?
Good news! The new Secretary of Homeland Security never murdered a puppy.
Bad news:
π―
05.03.2026 16:12 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0we must destroy Mayor McCheese
05.03.2026 16:05 β π 7 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0
They arrested Chuck E. Cheese, handcuffing him while children plaintively wailed his name.
I think the question we should be asking ourselves now is: what other beloved mascots can we imprison?
No no - I just have to charge my phone enough that I can go to the bathroom
05.03.2026 02:08 β π 75 π 24 π¬ 1 π 0
Yo Claude, If AI kills my job, how will I pay my bills?
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"YOU WILL BE MEAT FOR THE MEAT MACHINE"
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hold it up against a pic of the night sky
05.03.2026 03:13 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
NEW YORKER CAPTION CONTEST IMAGE: two cats sitting and talking as another cat with a Salvador Dali mustache walks by MY CAPTION: "Aw shit old-timey guy coming for the rent"
Theyβve come for the rent the rent the rent, The New Yorker.
05.03.2026 02:50 β π 66 π 7 π¬ 3 π 2I'm already against the next war! haha, but I'm still against the last 27 wars too
02.03.2026 20:00 β π 27 π 9 π¬ 0 π 0
interviewer: any weaknesses?
me: my knees
i have a sneaking suspicion. i have regular suspicions too, but this one is pretty sneaky
04.03.2026 20:07 β π 155 π 46 π¬ 1 π 0my blood moon thirst remains unsated
05.03.2026 02:00 β π 55 π 14 π¬ 3 π 1New Mr Beast contest: one lucky winner gets safely evacuated from Iran while the other contestants look on in horror as they are left behind
04.03.2026 16:41 β π 171 π 23 π¬ 5 π 1Evergreen
04.03.2026 03:13 β π 15 π 2 π¬ 1 π 0haha for real
04.03.2026 03:14 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0I was told Voldemort would return a sense of normalcy to the Ministry of Magic.
01.03.2026 06:38 β π 50 π 7 π¬ 0 π 0sorry i missed your text, are you still bombing iran from the blanket fort
28.02.2026 23:54 β π 135 π 26 π¬ 4 π 0Flying in the breeze, rhythmically smacking his ass
04.03.2026 00:39 β π 4 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0take my view. please!
03.03.2026 22:41 β π 5 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0Superman realizing he doesnβt have any pockets, shoving his cell phone into the waistband of his red external underwear, resigning to it just sticking halfway out.
03.03.2026 18:55 β π 96 π 16 π¬ 4 π 0Watching Death of a Unicorn and it is by far the best Jurassic Park movie I've seen in years
28.02.2026 04:21 β π 11 π 5 π¬ 1 π 0referring to death as "killing the vibe"
21.02.2026 22:46 β π 302 π 95 π¬ 6 π 2And war crimes!
02.03.2026 23:39 β π 12 π 1 π¬ 0 π 0I just did! βΊοΈ
02.03.2026 02:09 β π 4 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0This is simply one of the best pieces of political communications in history.
19.02.2026 21:54 β π 59 π 11 π¬ 3 π 1people are so weird you ask a couple of strangers to brush your hair and suddenly youβre banned from the ups store
01.03.2026 22:01 β π 181 π 30 π¬ 5 π 0practicing good portion control by having only one major mental breakdown every day
01.03.2026 11:15 β π 206 π 53 π¬ 6 π 0