batkaren

that’s because they tend to be the hackiest—if I ever actually won, I’d be ashamed beyond belief

🤞🏻

🦇💕🙏

NEW YORKER CAPTION CONTEST IMAGE: an office space with a clown sitting at a desk, speaking to a businessperson standing on the other side of the desk, holding a briefcase. MY CAPTION: "Welcome to late-stage capitalism, buddy."

I know I’ve said this before, but I think this might be the one, The New Yorker 🤞🏻

Still on hold with Universe Tech Support about the All-Pervasive Badness.

ooooh you’re “getting into the creepy season” big deal I traffic in eldritch horrors YEAR-ROUND, ya tourists

Yay!

NEW YORKER CAPTION CONTEST IMAGE: an office space with a clown sitting at a desk, speaking to a businessperson standing on the other side of the desk, holding a briefcase. MY CAPTION: "Welcome to late-stage capitalism, buddy."

I know I’ve said this before, but I think this might be the one, The New Yorker 🤞🏻

Guess I'm gonna have to keep reposting this because so many of you have this word in your handle rn. Fix it. Now.

gotta get those baselines up

Amazing!! Congratulations

ooooh you’re “getting into the creepy season” big deal I traffic in eldritch horrors YEAR-ROUND, ya tourists

Me: *thinking to myself after someone wrongs me* You made an inconsequential and powerless enemy today my friend

i’m cuddly and curious like a kitten but unlike a kitten i scoop my own litter box 💅

eating mashed potatoes with butter, heavy cream, fresh mozzarella, olive oil and balsamic vinegar because I've been lifting (the weight of my mother's expectations)

💯

I’m starting to doubt my call is actually important to them

Still on hold with Universe Tech Support about the All-Pervasive Badness.

A magnificent stag standing tall, defiant, a golden orb weaver in her web between his antlers. Probably doesn't mean anything, keep mowing your lawn

It's wild how the official policy seems to be to ban everyone that's been here for over a year in order to keep around a guy who everyone hates and who keeps writing about how the site sucks in his semi-regular column in Der Stürmer II.

if bsky tanks i guess i’ll go back to saying stupid, weird, uncomfortable things to various cashiers and waitstaff

i call dibs on looking at the moon first tonight

We are thankfully (from my perspective at least) already mutuals there

They’re holding off deploying here until Mamdani is in office.

your bottle of dishwashing liquid is on your sink counter but it’s facing backwards . are you insane ?

far too powerful

idek

Ah! Meringue pubes, just like grandma used to make

When asked to exemplify interacting on the internet, I asked social media how many witches were burned in Salem.

Many people smugly replied none, because they were hanged…oblivious to the fact that it was because none of the women were fucking witches.

aoibh, a tortie with a white bib and spats, laying flopped down on her side just completely ‘passed-out drunk’ relaxed

she refuses to teach me how to do this