J.M. "Samson the Sadducee Strangler" Kirkness

a man in a military uniform says " believe it or not jail " in front of a crowd ALT: a man in a military uniform says " believe it or not jail " in front of a crowd

Right to jail. Right away.

Fix your shit, America.

Okay, who had "Newt Gingrich tries to revive Project Plowshare" on their bingo card?

Also, god help me, I thought he was dead?

I should call her...

Lookin' good, Waluigi!

a man in a room with the word hackerman on the screen ALT: a man in a room with the word hackerman on the screen

Information wants to be free, my friend.

The main difference appears to be neckerchiefs.

Was this that Justin Fox dude? Or that little Nathan Cavanaugh shit?

a man in a military uniform stands at a podium in front of a group of people ALT: a man in a military uniform stands at a podium in front of a group of people

Generally I am in favor of things like due process, rule of law, etc. But I kind of feel like when this is all over, purely for the sake of expedience, we should just institute a blanket policy of "Worked for DOGE? Go to jail." Just fast track these fuckers.

We got you covered.

a blurry picture of a person walking in a dark alleyway ALT: a blurry picture of a person walking in a dark alleyway

Exorcist III. Or Prince of Darkness.

a close up of a superhero wearing a mask and a towel on his neck . ALT: a close up of a superhero wearing a mask and a towel on his neck .

This is clearly just a launch tube for the current Kamen Rider. Perfectly normal. You obviously haven't spent much time in Japan.

And mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell!

CAN YOU SEE THAT I AM SERIOUS?

What are your plans for summer vacation?

The real surprising thing is how that emu managed to get inside a maximum security prison.

*Fashion Bug*

A literal bug: "HAW BRAW!"

Anything can be a Strait of Hormuz if you're brave enough.

I mean, really- do you expect us to believe that members of the Trump administration are too stupid to read a map?

Okay, I just heard that one in my head- yeah, it's totally believable. Yeah, that's on me.

Obviously, it should feature a badger version of Winston Churchill.

ALL WORKERS REJOICE AT THE INEVITABLE TRIUMPH OF SUB-PAR MAOIST HISTORICAL ROMANCE

I didn't know business schools offered doctoral programs.

OZEMPIC
WEGOVY
MOUNJARO

"Um...who are Generals in the Russian Civil War, Alex?"

"Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango."

"Uh...when is this gonna be on the teevee?"

Actually, the moopsy almost always eats you.

ATTENTION BAJORAN WORKERS

Well, it seems like some of you little scamps have decided to try escaping through the waste extraction system. I bet you'll be surprised to learn that there aren't just voles down there. SECURITY DRONES ACTIVATE!

NOW YOU'RE THINKING WITH PORTALS!

Now we're talking.