James Palmer

My panel schedule for @dragoncon.org 2025. See you there!

Well, at first I thought you were a transphobic piece of shit. Now I know you are.

I am officially "retired" from freelance ghostwriting and content writing starting immediately.

Why the quotation marks? Because "retired" implies I actually made money and sounds better than "got tired of going to people who asked for my help and then kicked me in the balls."

The ARKHAM: SEASON ONE Kickstarter is not only live, it's already fully funded!

But more is needed, and I've got one stretch goal (so far) to entice you.

www.kickstarter.com/projects/kai...

Capitalism is not designed to help you succeed. It is designed to extract value from your attempts to succeed.

Are you bashing other people's inspiration because you can't create anything at all?

The pre-launch page for the ARKHAM: SEASON ONE Kickstarter is now up. You know what to do.

www.kickstarter.com/projects/kai...

ARKHAM: SEASON ONE my complete Lovecraftian YA serial, is available for FREE on Royal Road.

www.royalroad.com/fiction/1092...

The third edition of Public Relations for Dummies, which I ghostwrote, is out now! Check it out:
www.amazon.com/Relations-Du...

First episode available for FREE on my Patreon:
www.patreon.com/posts/122643...

That's a wrap on ARKHAM. I just finished episode 15. Stay tuned for the launch.

Authors: Want to Get off of Amazon? Do This

substack.com/home/post/p-...

Ten reasons for modest optimism Friends,

Ten reasons for modest optimism
open.substack.com/pub/robertre...

Well it took me long enough, but I finally figured out what exactly the big bads are up to in my Arkham Season One serial. I wanted to do a twist on the old "let's summon one of the Great Old Ones" trope. I don't think anyone will see it coming. I certainly didn't.
Better late than never, I say.

First episode drops for FREE on Patreon and Substack Friday, March 7 @ 8am EST. New episodes available only to my $10/month Serial Squadron patrons and above.

substack.com/@jamespalmer...
www.patreon.com/jamespalmer

Episode 10 edited. I also did a final pass on "99 Luftballoons" for the Jukebox Thrillers anthology and sent that to the editor.

Who has two thumbs and just pounded out another 1402 words to finish the Jukebox Thrillers story? Me, that's who.
4,635 words in total between Friday and Monday. Next up is a story about Saturn's moon Titan for another anthology. Onward.

Coming soon in serial form for my $10 Serial Squad patrons and above. www.patreon.com/jamespalmer

This

I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Here are a few of my favorite examples of books and movies in the kids on bikes genre:
Stranger Things
E.T. the Extraterrestrial
It
Now and Then
Something Wicked This Way Comes
Boy's Life
The Goonies
Monster Squad
Star Wars: Skeleton Crew (kids on speeder bikes)
Super 8
Stand By Me

Episode 2 of the serial has been edited and a section of it rewritten because I realized I needed to introduce the big bad earlier in the story. Still awaiting the cover. Once that's done episode one goes up for Free on Patreon, Royal Road, and Substack. Now on to episode 3.

a man in a captain america uniform is holding a shield in a living room . ALT: a man in a captain america uniform is holding a shield in a living room .

Channeling Captain America

It's not even entirely their fault. Religious doctrine is inherently authoritarian. This is the natural end result of generations of people spending every Sunday of their lives taking their marching orders from on high from a perceived authority.

Too much, or just about right? 🤷🏼‍♂️

#EmbarrassmentInChief 🤮

In true Stranger Things style, here are the chapter titles for the 1984 book:
Prologue: Big Ice
Weirdos
The Ship
The Signal
Awake
The Girl-Thing
The Skinwalker
Secrets
Spooks
Emergence
The Videocade
Terabithia
All-Nite Skate
Quarantine
The Voice of God
Departure
Epilogue: Decontamination

Home | Substack Discover and discuss great writing with the world’s smartest readers on Substack.

substack.com/home/post/p-...

I have no problem with people with a large net worth, so long as they obtained that net worth ethically and they are using most of it to do good in the world.

Happy New Year!

New stuff in the works:

A Lovecraftian serial.
Two story collections.
A humorous LitRPG-style fantasy.
A nostalgia-drenched SF adventure set in 1984.
Follow me on Substack for more (see my profile bio).
Stay tuned.