Ezwyn (@ezwyn) — Bluesky Profile

11 months ago

I get spicy

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1 year ago

Turned myself on when I spit my toothpaste in the sink.

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1 year ago

Woke up feral
Time to be a menace

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1 year ago

The Godfrey Audio Guide is my latest addition to my podcast obsessions.

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1 year ago

a cartoon cat with a bow on its head is standing on a wooden floor with her hands on her hips . Alt: a cartoon cat with a bow on its head is standing on a wooden floor with her hands on her hips .

It’s time to dance! Join me!

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1 year ago

Did I overwork my shoulder muscle by masturbating?

You already know the answer. It’s me.

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1 year ago

On days when I don’t feel worth my own kindness, I ask myself who taught me to offer kindness only to those I deem worthy.

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1 year ago

I get one life, and I have to spend it struggling because of some shitty fucks out there?

Bullshit

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1 year ago

Shit

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1 year ago

I finally feel well enough to sit up, so I’m using this new power to be gay in video games.

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1 year ago

A Snoop Dogg CD works really well to scrape dog shit off of the sidewalk.

Follow me for more life hacks.

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1 year ago

I got my hair done. 🥰

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1 year ago

An ant bit my ass in my own bed on the middle of winter. That’s some bullshit.

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1 year ago

Executive dysfunction is getting stuck reading 400 pages of a book because every time you finish the 10 pages of a chapter, you tell yourself to get up and eat, but then you say “oh but it’s only 10 pages one more” because you’re not ready to do the task.

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1 year ago

Not even a 104 degree fever stopped me from being horny.

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1 year ago

Cereal

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1 year ago

I forgot to update: 35 orgasms in the new year!

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1 year ago

We’re up to 25 orgasms in the new year! Wooooo!

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1 year ago

A tattoo done on the inner upper arm of a Lovers tarot card depicting Morticia and Gomez Addams. Gomez is kissing up Morticia’s arm, and the scene is framed below by a skull and two roses.

Y’all, I’m so fucking happy

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1 year ago

Good morning!!!

It’s tattoo day! 🥰🥰

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1 year ago

I painted my nails, and my attitude doubled.

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1 year ago

Hornyyyyyyyy

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1 year ago

Onion rings in a box. The rings are inside each other, fused at the top. The effect is of a stylized vagina.

Iykyk

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1 year ago

Puppets from the 90s from a kid’s show called Timmy the Tooth. On the left is Timmy the Tooth, a giant tooth with arms, a bow tie, and giant blue eyes. On the right, in Timmy’s arm, is a toothbrush with the bristles forming dog ears at the top.

I was just brushing my teeth and had the most aggressive recollection of this fucker. I feel like I’m having a fever dream.

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1 year ago

I slept impossibly deeply and woke up with a singular thought: they should make bbq scented deodorant.

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1 year ago

A hand holds a realistic-style dildo to show off black nail polish on ballerina cut nails. The index and middle nails are cut short and have silver glitter applied.

This is how you take nail pics, right?

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1 year ago

I love days when I get to flex more of my kink repertoire. 😈

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1 year ago

A quote from the novel The Wreck of the Mary Deare by Hammond Innes. It says “Mike tumbled into the cockpit, hardening in the main sheet for me, as I headed south on a broad reach.”

Good gods. 🤣🤣🤣

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1 year ago

The cover of the novel The Wreck of the Mary Deare by Hammond Innes. Depicts a man at a helm, steering.

Currently Reading: The Wreck of the Mary Deare by Hammond Innes

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1 year ago

Did I make up a song about my microwave noodles?

Of course I did.

Were most of the lyrics just “noodle”?

I am not accepting criticism at this time.

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