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I wonder if he's single (he's got a car...)

When they say "move fast and break things," both refer to people

Great news is you sign up by not 😌

What if we all just didn't today?

I had to request a reference through interlibrary loan. It felt like I was sending a Morse code telegram.

Heaven better be a 65° (18°C) sunny day in mid autumn, where every dog and their human are wearing matching vests.

I am searching for dog fedoras (yes you heard me) and I came across this guy. I'm cackling right now.

I wrote a song for you! It's called "The Whore's Ballad"

Man wearing a dad sweater with a husky looking at him judgmentally in the background

Some woman on our walk said she really liked the message of my sweater.

Unhinged things my brain comes up with when people tell me my dog is so pretty:

- she gets it from her daddy (derogatory)
- she's engaged!!
- great there goes her ego
- her heart belongs to the lord

I need a lobotomy...and Wendy's.

Little known linguistic fact: "goober" is short for "gubernatorial," which originated from the adoption of the Cockney "gov'na" in the 19th century.

(That's also why I speak to my dog in an East London accent!)

(this includes gossip)

While I dread the impending winter, I adore afternoon hot tea time.

A picture of a husky wearing a bandana that has candy corn on it

My sweet little candy corn

Murder, She Wrote: The Last Free Man Murder, She Wrote: The Last Free Man is the third Murder, She Wrote TV movie. It originally aired on May 2, 2001. Whilst attending a lecture in Culpepper, Virginia by Dr Cassandra Hawkins, Jessica lea...

Apparently it was actually her ancestor who just also happened to be an excellent detective (also starring Phylicia Rashad!)

murdershewrote.fandom.com/wiki/Murder,...

I'm watching a "Murder, She Wrote" where Jessica Fletcher was somehow transported to the Antebellum South. As you might imagine her accent and acting are both excellent.

I'm showing this to my mom when she questions what I mean that love isn't real.

Just saw a Reddit post where someone had $118 in cash and $177k in credit card debt. I have palpitations.

So basically that video is him advertising his incontinence? He definitely sits on a towel on the F*x white couch (look it up).

Trying to not let my inner demons convince me to eat a second dinner.

Sometimes I think an underappreciated risk of modern dating is that he could show up on an e-scooter.

My dog is getting too comfortable. She just snuggled up to me, made eye contact, and let out a long fart.

The answer today was 4! That's close to a record.

My friend said she did this recently and omg how brilliant

How many socks do I need to grab from the dryer before I get a match?

Had this exact conversation with a friend the other day! Makes sense and also tracks with the observation that the people I've seen smoking are younger.

Has anyone else noticed more people smoking real cigarettes lately?

My friend, who is a perpetual flake, just said they might be MIA the rest of the year...girl like so the exact same?

That feeling when your research validates and extends findings in the MIT State of AI research report 💅